Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

I Sit Amazed

Monday, July 6th, 2009

As sad as I was yesterday about the fallout from the Fourth, today I’m happy, hopeful, and as always reflective.  While I am reluctant to divulge much about my relationship with S, due to its intensely personal nature, I know that for many it is a subject of great fascination.

Previous posts would lead you, and not wrongly, to believe that we have had a tumultuous relationship.  Yet here we are, living together.  And no one is more surpised than we are.  We discussed it last night in the hot tub.  We have some of our best discussions at night in the screened porch that houses the hot tub.   It’s one of our favorite rooms. 

There’s something about snuggling in bubbly chlorinated water while looking out at the moon and stars and listening to the station of our choosing that helps us open up even more than normal.  As we sat there, a la the tub scene in Pretty Woman, his head against my chest, my legs wrapped around him, I asked if he saw any of this coming.  The response was a resounding ‘no.’

When we first started dating, he told me that he didn’t want a girlfriend.  I told him that I just wanted to be with him.  No pressure.  Next thing you know, we’re exclusive.  He told me he didn’t want to date anyone older or that had children.  I’m all that and more.  I told him to not judge me based on things I couldn’t change.  Now, he’s living with a woman and her two children…big, nearly grown children.

And he still stands by one last claim: we’re never getting married.  He’s even turned it into a song… and dance.

S: Never gonna do it.  Never gonna do it.  Never gonna do it never gonna do it.  Never gonna do it!  (Think En Vogue.)

It’s very cute.  And it makes me laugh.  And I don’t care one bit.  Marriage isn’t a measure of commitment.  (I learned that the hard way.)  Marriage isn’t a means to security.  ( Same lesson.)  It isn’t even a guarantee of lasting love, or love at all. 

I’ll take the man who comes home to me every night, who stays up late talking to me, who holds me like our bodies were made for each other.  I’ll take the man I can laugh and play with, who loves my singing, my quirky ways, and indulges me with time wandering the beach in search of shells, stones, and sea glass.  I don’t need to call him husband.  I don’t need a piece of paper to keep him or a ring to bind us together.  After all this time, I am still content just being with him.

Our adventure has barely begun.  We have an amazing life ahead of us.

Tags: dating, relationships, romance
Posted in relationships | 1 Comment »

Happily Forever After

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

February 20, 2009

Once upon a time there was a handsome prince with fiery red hair and a matching fiery disposition who had never truly known love.  In his heart, he believed he had experienced it, but each time it had fallen short of his expectations.  He had yet to find his soul mate.  This prince was fiercely independent.  Though he had many acquaintances, he had few true friends, and of those none that he felt comfortable sharing much of himself with.   Life had taught him that most people were unworthy of his trust, and time had dulled his desire to extend himself to those undeserving.
Autumn turned to winter then to spring as the young prince grew acclimated to his new kingdom.  And as the weather improved, he began to venture out and explore the neighboring kingdoms, meet the other royal families and peasants that resided nearby.  It was during such visits that he had met the local ambassador, Sir Edward of Mead.
All customary gatherings seemed to transpire on Mead lands where there was no fighting and spirits aplenty.  Evenings would find men relaxing and indulging in the spirits while the women chatted and watched over the children.  It was a peaceful yet sometimes empty existence for the prince.  Though he couldn’t put a finger on it, he knew something was missing.  More, he believed he would recognize this missing thing once confronted with it.  So, he pushed those concerns aside and carried on with his daily life.
One lovely spring evening, the prince strode over to Mead lands as had become his habit to consult with Sir Edward.  There was nothing about that evening to mark it as the monumental occasion it would become for on that night, he met a woman he hadn’t met before.  Lady Nicole was unlike any woman he had previously known.  She was warm and friendly, genuinely caring, intelligent, and easy on the eyes.  They spoke easily about everything and nothing as the sun set, the moon rose, and the stars took hold in the night sky.   And from that moment, Prince S was drawn to her like a moth to a flame.
The more time they spent together, the deeper her feelings grew.  In her, Prince S had someone he could trust with all his secrets, someone who would offer complete acceptance, and someone who would willingly render her whole heart.  As far as he could tell, she was practically perfect for him, but not quite.
Being a young prince, he believed that time was on his side.  He could afford to push away Lady Nicole and search for his one true mate.  Worthy as he was, he deserved to have his dream.  Saying his goodbyes to his neighbors and Lady Nicole in particular, Prince S set off to find the woman he desired.

He hadn’t traveled far when he stumbled upon a woman from his past.  As it is in all small kingdoms, word travels fast.  And the word on the street was that the prince was searching for the woman who would be his princess.  Candidates would be flocking to him in droves, crawling out of the woodwork like vermin.  The prince was unconcerned.  He welcomed the challenge and he was supremely confident in his ability to successfully complete his quest.

Prince S stopped without hesitation when this woman from his past asked for his assistance.  They had shared a special dance long ago and he still had a soft spot in his heart for her.  “Be with me,” she begged.  “Be with me and I will offer you this down comforter so you’ll never know cold again.”
The prince thought about her offer.  The comforter did seem warm and it could replace the blanket that he had shared with Lady Nicole, a blanket that reminded him of her soft skin, her warmth, and the passions they had experienced beneath it and on it.  Shaking his head to diminish the bittersweet memories, he took the comforter and tried to be with her.  It didn’t take long for Prince S to discover that this woman, though she had her charms, was not his soul mate.  Soon, the blanket was on his bed, but she wasn’t in it, nor would she be in his heart.
Determined to take his time in his quest, the prince remained in his kingdom.  His days were spent surveying his estate and his nights were spent entertaining his many friends and acquaintances.  One evening, a woman who had long desired him came forward seeking his attention.  “Be with me,” she begged.  “Be with me and you’ll never be unsatisfied again.”
Prince S pondered her offer for a moment.  He had known true satisfaction before.  Being satisfied by Lady Nicole had been one of the greatest pleasures of his life.  He recalled how one evening she had lain with him, snuggling close, and promised that she would do anything to make him happy in their bed.  And she had.  He wondered if he could experience that again.  He waited as the woman leaned in to affix her lips to his, but something kept him from completing the kiss.  While some might pass it off as a case of simple chronic halitosis, the prince knew there was more to it than that.
So once more the prince was forced to leave his kingdom and continue on his quest.  In his exit from the lands, he was forced to pass by the manor of Lady Nicole.  He saw her sitting outside, enjoying the sun, reading .  She seemed content, until her eyes met his and he was overwhelmed by the depth of the hurt in her gaze and the all too familiar pain began in his stomach.  Pushing that aside, he continued on his journey.
This time, his travels brought him in contact with the woman he had once believed to be his soul mate.  She was the one woman he struggled to let go, despite the fact that he ended their courtship.  The pain of that still afflicted him.  He expected that taking the opportunity to reconnect with her would bring him great joy.
The joy was short-lived, however, once they began spending time together.  Soon, the prince began to recall why he had ended the courtship last time.  And soon after that, he began doing something he had done so often as of late.  Prince S began to compare this woman to Lady Nicole.  Both had qualities he admired and found highly desirable.  He was feeling the weight of his quest taking hold.  How would he decide?
The prince knew that if he were searching for a knight to protect his realm, he would merely hold a tournament where the most skilled of swordsmen would compete for a position in his court.  There was no such comparable competition for those vying for a position as his princess.  He considered holding a ball where all the single women of his and neighboring kingdoms might come to dance and win his favor.  Even with his limited experiences he could foresee the flaws in such a plan.  Dancing was only a small part of life.
Armed with a list of all the eligible women he knew, the handsome prince assembled a panel of his closest advisors to assist him as he prepared to make the most important decision of his life.  One by one, he asked each of the men he trusted how they had selected their wives.  And as he expected, the answers were as varied as the men themselves.
“Laughter is so very important,” the first man shared.  “I knew that if she had a sense of humor and could make me laugh, we could weather anything that befell us.”   He smiled as he watched the prince’s reaction.
Studying the list, he was marking through those women he was certain were too serious for him to consider a permanent match.  Satisfied with his results, he moved on to the next man.
“Attraction,” his lusty friend said simply.  “I wanted a wife that the moment I saw her, I’d want to take her to bed.”  And he winked at the prince while nodding knowingly.
Smiling, the prince marked through several more names.  At one time or another he had been attracted to all these women, but for many he had felt the attraction fade over time.  Certainly attraction was important.
“I looked for compatibility,” one man said simply.  “I wanted someone that I could get along with, someone I would have a peaceful existence with.”
Prince S ran a hand through his goatee and nodded as he mulled over the response.  It was important that he be able to get along with his wife, but he wanted so much more than that.  Still, taking the advice into consideration, he began to modify the list.  Any woman he knew he had a tumultuous past with was quickly and efficiently marked off.
“For me,” said another, “it wasn’t so much about finding someone I could live with, it was about the one person I couldn’t live without.”
Again this answer made perfect sense to him.  He mulled over who he couldn’t live without.  Which of the many women in his life had gotten under his skin?  Whose absence was most acutely felt?   And this time the list was diminished significantly.  So many women on this list he hadn’t even given a passing thought for in years.
At last, Prince S stood before his most trusted friend.  “Sir Lonnie,” he began, “how did you choose?”  He looked nearly defeated.  If anything, he still had more questions than answers even though he had a more manageable list of candidates.
Sir Lonnie clapped a hand on the prince’s shoulder.  “Walk with me,” he said quietly.  They went out onto the terrace before he finally dropped his hand.

  “Clearly you understand the magnitude of your decision.  This woman you select will be the one to stand by your side in good times, see you through bad times.  This is the woman who will care for you, your children, and all your worldly possessions.  Your wife will be the last person you see each night, the one you wake up to in the morning.  And, naturally, there’s the time you spend together in between…” His voice trailed off and he smiled at his friend.
“Don’t forget, “Sir Lonnie added, “that she should not only be your best friend, but someone who will embrace your friends as well.  A castle can be a cold and dreary place, unless you have the right woman to make it a home.”  He watched the prince for a reaction.  “Has anyone come to mind?”
It could have so easily been a toss up, but as usual, Sir Lonnie had helped him make sense of his dilemma.  He strode over to his black stallion, mounted the beast, and rode off to claim his soul mate.  He had one quick stop to make first, however.  Throwing wide his castle door, he hastily made his way to the royal vault.  Years ago he had been entrusted with the family jewels and the one that would be gifted to his bride in particular.  Though he found it to be somewhat gaudy, he knew that if this woman he sought was truly his soul mate, she would recognize its significance and thereby treasure it.
Soon he was riding up the drive, wondering how to approach this woman.  In the past, he had unintentionally caused her great hurt.  He had underestimated her worth, sought to find the most miniscule of flaws to keep him from committing.  He had allowed inconsequential things to create a wedge between them.  Yet despite all of that, she was the one woman he couldn’t live without, the one woman who drove him to distraction.  She was the one woman he could imagine a future with.
As luck would have it, she was outside admiring a rainbow that seemed to disappear in the roof of her manor.  “And what brings you here?”  She asked with a wary smile.
The prince knew she was guarded.  He could feel it, as he had always felt all of her emotions.  “I was searching for treasure,” he said.
“Well, you won’t find any pot of gold under this rainbow,” she said and turned toward the manor.
“How do you know I haven’t already found my treasure?”  He asked as he walked closer to her.
She took a step back.  Being close to him was always a problem.  When he was close she couldn’t think straight, breathe as easily, keep from touching him.  He had always consumed her.  “All that’s here is me,” she said quietly.
“I underestimated your value once,” the prince admitted.  “Now I know what you’re worth.”  He took a step closer still.  “I know what you deserve, and I want to be the one to give it to you.  All of it.”  He took her face in his hands and kissed her passionately.  “Do you think you could love me again?”
“I’ll give you my whole heart,” she said earnestly.
“And you can forgive my stupidity?”  He asked with a smirk.
“I always do, “ she responded dryly.
He chuckled and dropped to one knee.  He saw her eyes widen.  “Did you think I was going to ask you something?”  He queried.  “I was just worried about straining your neck.”  He watched her shoulders slump and heard her disappointed sigh.  He stared at her and said seriously, “I’m a prince.  We don’t ask, we command.”  Her eyebrows rose sharply.

Pulling the ring from his pocket, he held it out to her.  “Marry me,” he said.
Tears formed in her eyes as he slid the ring on her finger.  “You’re wrong for that, mister,” she growled.  Then her tone grew more playful.  “Guess I’ll just have to make you pay.”
“For the rest of my life?”  He asked with a smile.

“Uh huh.”

And with that, he walked her to his stallion and they rode back to his castle to live happily forever after.

Tags: fairy tale, romance, short story, soul mate
Posted in Creative Writings | 2 Comments »