Posts Tagged ‘humor’
Doesn’t Make Me a Bad Mom
Wednesday, July 1st, 2009
Tuesday night is traditionally a Carmella’s night. (Carmella’s being the local pizza place/bar…mostly pizza?) And the reason it has to fall on a Tuesday? $1 slice night, baby!
We tried to do the family thing, meet Jay and Spring there, have a meal out in public together, just four adults outnumbered by five kids ages five to fifteen. Ahhh. It’s a well known fact that if you don’t get to Carmella’s before 6pm, you’re not eating there. We arrived at 6:30pm. Right. S made an executive decision and herded my kids back to the car while I said our goodbyes.
And we came up with plan B: Longhorn. Seemed like a good idea at the time. We don’t take the kids out in public much. I thought it was because of money, but now I’ve reconsidered.
For the next hour, everything I said began with ‘Rachel!’ Keep in mind, she’s FIFTEEN! It was ‘Rachel, don’t steal food off your brother’s plate!’ ‘Rachel, stop hogging the butter.’ ‘Rachel, did you really just steal the last of the sour cream?’
By the time dinner was over, I was exhausted. I’m backing out of the parking space and she’s now making car noises: revving engines, changing gears, etc. And I lost it.
Me: For the love of God, shut up before I pull out a gun and tranq you!
The entire car went silent then, for a moment. Then everyone burst out laughing. Everyone but Rachel.
Rachel: Did you really just threaten to tranq me?
Me: Yup.
S: Think it would work?
Me: It’ll help me. It’s either that or a valium salt lick will be installed inside the front door.
S: I don’t think that would work.
Me: Oh, no, that’s for me.
Ah. And we look back on these moments and laugh. Doesn’t make me a bad mom, right?
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