Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

Part Eight: Blame it on the alcohol…

Friday, August 7th, 2009

There were a lot of tales from the trip that really didn’t quite fit.  That’s why we had that post yesterday with the towel animals, something of an ongoing saga.  The same was true of our liquor.

There are cruise rules.  And these rules are put in place for good reason.  In the case of alcohol, it’s all about the bottom line.  The cruise lines make an inordinate amount of money from the sale of these beverages.  That’s why they dress them up pretty and have a drink of the day in a souvenir plastic.  And that is why they confiscate and return the night before the end of the cruise any alcohol that comes aboard.

Well, when we were finally able to get into our cabin that first night, we discovered that they had not confiscated our liquor.  There was a partial bottle of Jagermeister and a full bottle of Goldschlager.  S looked at me like a kid at Christmas.  And it was quickly decided that it was a sign we should keep it in the room and save some money.

So, we filled the large stainless steel garbage can with ice, called our steward for more ice, and celebrated our small victory.  I wasn’t really drinking, so the liquor lasted quite a while.  On the second night of the cruise, our steward showed up as we were getting ready for dinner.  S answered the door.

Carter: (imagine with a heavy Jamaican accent) Hey, mon, where’s my bin?

(I knew immediately what he was looking for, so I avoided eye contact and stayed far removed from the situation.)

S: What bin?

Carter: My bin. My bin.  Did you think I wouldn’t look for my bin?

S: (reaching into the bathroom and pulling out the much smaller stainless steel garbage can) Oh, you mean this?

Carter: No, mon, my bin.  The big bin.

S: *sigh* So are we in trouble here or what?

Carter: No, mon, I just brought you ice.

S: Oh.

And thus began the daily ice bucket refill.  Carter would knock on the door and scoop fresh ice into the bin.  Carter, we love you!

Because we had been able to save some money on alcohol, we were feeling quite generous with some of the people we met.  There were two guys that we really had a blast hanging out with.  They looked like David Lee Roth and Keith Urban.  No joke.  And they were, in fact, musicians.  I wrote down their names, which were far more ordinary than they were, but I’ll just continue to call them David and Keith.

These guys were performing at both the stops on the cruise.  Very cool.  And they had taken stowing alcohol to new heights.  They had packed their musical instruments full of liquor and still it wasn’t enough.  S came back to the room (with ice creams) while I was working on finding the car rental for us and told me some of their stories.

S: These guys are so cool.  They were telling me how women and coming up to them and just showing them their boobs and how couples are asking for threesomes.

me: Oh my God!  People really do that?  Man, we’re tame!

S: Yeah.  Anyway, they are out of alcohol so, I thought I’d give them some of ours.

We walked back up with some of the tequila we had purchased in Cozumel hidden in S’s cargo shorts.  And we found them right where he had left them, the bar.  They were happy to see us because we were apparently the most normal people they had met the entire cruise.  Wow.

S: Here.  Thought you could use this.  (passing them the bottles)

David: Man, you guys are the best.  You rock, man.  (There was some hugging and hand shaking.   Apparently musicians get very emotional about their alcohol.)

me: Well, I figured it was the least we could do since I’m not going to show you my boobs or ask you to sleep with us.

S was surprised I said that.  Sometimes he just doesn’t know me very well.  The guys thought I was funny.  (Funny ’cause it’s true?)

We saw them once more that night.  They shouted down to us while we were in the Serenity hot tub.  They wanted us to go clubbing with them.  Seems funny, but there are enough places to go that you can go clubbing on the ship.  We never really caught up with them.  Ahhh, but the memories live on.

**Check back tomorrow to read about how we spent V-day.

Posted in Travels | 1 Comment »

Towel animals

Thursday, August 6th, 2009

I fell in love on the cruise…with towel animals.

Carter scooted us out of the cabin the first night, promising a big surprise upon our return.  And voila!  A towel seal.  It was great.  And next to it, our itinerary for the next day and two chocolates.

I would pour over the itinerary and nibble on the chocolate.  S wasn’t as interested in his, which worked out really well for me.  And yet another reason why I like him so very  much is that he never seemed to question where his chocolates went.  It ranks right up there with the mystery of the Tootsie Pop.  (I guess the world will never know.)

Well, the first night, I moved the towel animal to make room for us in the bed.  Had I known what a fragile creature it was, I would have been more gentle, I swear.  So, it kind of imploded on itself in my hands.  Where there once was a towel animal, there was now simply towel…and two black beady eyes.  Creepy.

The second day, we returned to the room following dinner, only to discover…a towel elephant!  I was so excited that I ever so gently relocated the white terry beast to the magazine stand.  And there he stayed.  (Looked like a boy elephant to me.)

On the third night of the cruise, we returned from our excursion in Cozumel to put away our purchases and discovered…a towel swan!  Naturally it screamed photo op for me.  We took pictures of the towel beasts in their natural habitat (our bed), then with us individually.  Ahhh.  And for safe keeping, I set the swan on the lower level of the stand.  She survived there very well, except for that one eye.

So, on the fourth and final night of the cruise, it occurred to me that I was missing a prime opportunity to enjoy a picture of all four of my towel animals together, since the seal had bit the dust that first night.  With that in mind, I left Carter a pleading note, asking if he could recreate the seal so I could record it for posterity.

We raced to the cabin that night, giggling.  (Okay, I was giggling, he was simply laughing at my enthusiasm.)  As he opened the door, I nearly burst into tears.  There on the bed was a cobra, piggy, and… mommy and baby seal.  Had Carter been in the room, S would have had to pry me off him I was so pleased.

There were more pictures, of course.  And some video where we discussed the mishap that created swan-clops.  When we were through, I set my towel menagerie up about the room.  It wasn’t a large cabin, which prompted S to comment that he was glad we hadn’t taken a longer cruise.  (I’m so ready for the next one…)

Oh, and the last day of the cruise, there was a class offered on creating towel animals.  S and I considered attending it for a few brief moments, until we realized that it would most likely coincide with our morning nap, or worse breakfast.  (The beauty of our relationship is that I respect his need for sleep and he respects my need for food.)

me: I think you should always make me towel animals when I stay over.

S: You do, huh?

me: Yes.  I think it would give the visit a little something extra.

S: (laughing) I would, but we missed the class.

me: Yes, but the gift shop sells a whole book on making towel animals.  (And then I gazed at him expectantly.)

S: Okay.  Well, if you  buy the book, I’ll make you towel animals.

So we did.  And we docked back in Miami the next morning.  We were staying two more days before flying out.  This time, we were in Miami Lakes.  The hotel was really cool: Don Shula’s Golf Resort.  The rooms were classic, with a masculine edge.

We had a balcony, which made S very happy, that overlooked the lagoon and some yard.  We had a fridge that made me very happy, stuck under the sink near the bathroom.  We had amazingly comfortable beds.  It was returning to the room after dinner that made me realize what I lacked.

me: *sigh*

S: What’s wrong, baby?

me: There’s no chocolates.  There’s no itinerary for tomorrow.  And *sniffle*

S: Would you like me to make you a towel animal?

me: Uh huh.  (Nodding happily now.)

S: Bring me the book.

And he did.  He made me a seal and a snail.  It was the strangest thing.  Somehow, when we unpacked at home, that frisky little snail had snuck into my luggage!  I had a stowaway!  So, we gave him a good home.  Now he lives quite happily in the study.  And yes, S still does make me towel animals on occasion.  Most of the time, the occasion is merely that I want a towel animal.

Posted in Travels | 1 Comment »

Part Seven: Our Day at Sea

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009

Our last day on the cruise was spent entirely at sea.  And even though I wondered if we could find enough to do to keep ourselves as entertained as we were on our various excursions at the different ports, I found myself wishing for more time.

We started our day with the typical breakfast buffet.  I like eating outdoors to begin with.  Eating outdoors with such an amazing view was even better.  Nothing but water as far as the eye could see.  We loved it.

Then there was our usual morning nap.  While S rested, I worked on making car rental arrangements for our return to Miami.  We had two whole days there and wanted a car to see some sights.  It was easy enough to do since there was a computer area on the ship.  Not cheap, but worth it.  And naturally while I was finishing up, he brought me an ice cream cone.  Ahhh.

We played a game of mini-putt before lunch.  It was, by far, my worst game ever.  I’m going to blame it on the waves, but I may just have been ridiculously distracted.  We’re on the tallest part of the ship.  There’s a track winding around it.  And there’s a golf simulator in the middle.  It was very cool.  Oh, and I was having some issues with my attire.  A sarong, even over a bikini, and extreme gusts of wind do not mix.

We had lunch.  S had become so considerate.  He had been watching the past few days noting the items I liked on the buffet and when he would grab his food, he’d bring me back a plate in addition to the plate I had made.  There would be potato salad and cucumbers, and usually cake.  It would have been rude not to eat it, right?

Then it was time for more water fun.  The Imagination had a water park consisting of several different slides.  We ran into the California family from the day before and talked with them for a while before heading down the slides.  I have a history with water slides…usually involving unintentional public nudity.  Luckily, the bathing suit stayed in place.  I was a bit skittish going down the curly slide, which earned me cheers from onlookers upon my finish.  And S and I raced down a couple of speed slides.  He won.  (My ego was really taking a beating between the spanking in putt putt and losing on the speed slides.)

By early afternoon, I was ready for my usual on board snack.  There was a sushi bar open from 4-7pm nightly.  Not a great selection, but good flavor.  And it gave us a few minutes to sit and talk.  No sushi for S, which is why it seemed super sweet that he would indulge me.

We had a plan.  We were going to watch the sun set that evening from the back of the boat, one of Serenity’s hot tubs to be precise.  As so often happens with my life, it didn’t quite work out the way we planned.  We ended up, instead, hugging the railing together.  It was still glorious.  And then we found out that on this last night of the cruise, instead of shutting down by 8pm as was customary, Serenity would be open until midnight.

me: Let’s go back.

S: Absolutely.

me: And for the love of God, don’t tell anyone!

S: Okay.  (laughing at me)

We did more of the usual.  We enjoyed drinks after dinner at Xanadu Lounge while others sang karaoke and danced.  Intentional public spectacle, not my style.  I seem to make enough of a spectacle of myself by accident.  And then we snuck back to our cabin to change and close down Serenity.

It was absolutely perfect.  I still get a little emotional thinking about it.  We’re snuggled up together in the hot tub, staring at the most amazing starlit sky.  We’re having some of our talks.  And S voiced what we both were thinking.

S: I wish we had just a few more days.

me: (laughing)  We do, just not on the ship.

S: I know.  Maybe just one more port…

me: Well, you know, this boat is leaving Friday for Nassau…

S: How much?

And so we made some calls.  Did some research.  If we could have changed our flight, we would have forgotten about the extra days in Miami.  We would, instead, have gone on to Nassau, and extended our trip one more day.  My boss wouldn’t have been surprised.  Every time S and I have taken a trip, I have called to request more time.  And every time, he has very understandingly granted it.  Ahhh.  This time, it just wasn’t to be.

It’s just as well.  Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to tell you, in a few days, about my best Valentine’s Day ever.

**Come back tomorrow to read about me falling in love…

Posted in Travels | 1 Comment »

Part Six: Cozumel, Mexico

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

We tend to be night owls.  That’s why the timing of the ship’s stay in in this leg of the trip was so

ideal.  We’d dock at 1pm and not depart until 10pm.

We were very excited about Cozumel.  It was out first major vacation and we were visiting a different country.  Too cool.

We managed to fill our morning with breakfast, a nap and lunch before leaving the ship.  After pouring over the excursions available the day before, we had decided to do a beach one.  (Anything involving water always wins out with us.)  And S was eager to ride a jetski in the Caribbean.  How many people that we knew actually could say they did that?

Once we made it through the border, we were greeted by duty-free shopping.  We had my kids to buy for and Ed and Laura, since they were helping to watch the house.  And we knew there was a distinct possibility that we would want to grab some memorabilia for ourselves.  So, we shopped.

And then, because we went a little crazy with the shopping and didn’t want to carry all of it the remainder of the day, and since the ship was a short brisk walk away, we stopped back there with our purchases.  We had another eight hours docked there, after all.  So, ready to depart once more, we grabbed a taxi for the beach.  I had wondered before we left Charlotte if transportation would be an issue.  I should have known better.

We ended up at Playa Mia where we paid for unlimited drinks, including alcoholic beverages, and all the non-motorized water fun we could handle.  It was…perfect.  Great sand beaches.  Great margaritas.  (I had to try an authentic one in Mexico, right?)  Okay…maybe it was an authentic three or four.  And S was passing some challenge given him by the bartenders determined to get the tourist drunk.

S: Okay, what’s the strongest drink you’ve got?

The bartenders confer and pass him a drink.  He practically chugs it.  Stops and waits a few minutes.  Shakes his head.

S: That’s it?  Weak.  How about a shot of tequila?

And I’m laughing.  These guys have no idea who they are dealing with.  S is Irish.  And very good at it.

He decides to go out on the jetski.  I decide to relax and get some sun…and sip a rita.  He is having a blast.  I’m watching him race around at break neck speeds and I know how free he feels.

When he returns we decide to go play in the water.  The water is crystal clear.  I have never seen anything more beautiful.  There are all kinds of stones, part of the Aztec ruins under water.  And I’m one of those ease-into-the-water chicks.  So, next thing you know, S is heading back to our loungers to get me my flops so that I won’t hurt my delicate feet.  (Hey, I didn’t ask, he offered!)  This alone had the other women crooning.

lady: Oh, that’s so sweet!  Are you two on your honeymoon?

me: (laughing) No.

lady: Well, hold onto him.

And all I could think was that I was trying.  I really like having him in my life.  I really like the life we have together.

Soon we’re mingling.  We’re talking to other people from the cruise ship.  There’s a nice family who lived in California and want us to join them for dinner in an authentic Mexican restaurant.  We toyed with the idea, since S loves Mexican.  (Okay.  He likes tacos.  You say potato…)  In the end, we decide to go to…wait for it…Margaritaville.

There are only like…eleven…in the entire world.  It just seemed like it was too perfect to have the first one be in Cozumel.  (We had missed out going to the one in Key West because of that whole didn’t leave the boat with money thing.  Grrrr.)  So, we grabbed a taxi and went.

It was so amazing.  The picture is from the one in Cozumel.  And if you look at the table near the railing with the yellow chairs…that’s where we sat.  We arrived there shortly after dark.  The place was filled with other rowdy tourists.  S ran to the bathroom.  And the minute he left the table, a waitress came over.  She tossed a shot into my mouth, snapped my jaw shut, did some kind of song while whipping my head this way and that, then shoved out her palm and asked for three dollars.  I told her she’d have to wait until S returned.

He sat down and I looked at him sheepishly.

S: What?

me: I need three dollars.

S: (smirking) Why?

Just then she was working her schtick on some other tourist.

me: That.  (pointing)

He smiled.  She turned and saw him sitting with me.  Soon she was back standing beside the table, trying to get him to do a shot, too.  He shook his head.

S: Nice trick though.  (handing her three dollars)

We had wings.  We shopped in the gift shop.  We left with full bellies, lighter wallets, a t-shirt and a shot glass.  Then we took a taxi to the dock again.  More shopping ensued.  We found some jewelry for Rachel.  We found a pirate bandana for Keenan.  And I can’t tell you what we bought Ed.  Just know that he liked it. S picked up a half dozen Cozumel lighters to use and share with friends.

We took lots of pictures.  Some I’ll even post in the photo gallery.  I just don’t photograph well.  And…as S puts it, I should leave a little some thing to the imagination.

We stayed up late that night.  We enjoyed the midnight Mexican buffet.  He bought me a Coconut Monkey drink.  (I still have the Coconut Monkey, of course.)  And I have countless other memories of that time.  I’d go back to Cozumel in a heart beat.

**Check out our last day at sea tomorrow.

Posted in Travels | 2 Comments »

Part Five: Key West

Monday, August 3rd, 2009

Key West was an early morning.  We docked at 7am, and soon after that, S and I were on the Lido deck enjoying the breakfast buffet, preparing to head off on our first excursion of the trip.

Ahhh.  The breakfast buffet.  Breakfast is the one meal that S really eats any type of selection.  So we had scrambled eggs, pancakes, hash browns, bacon or ham or sausage…or a combination of all of the above.  I would eat an orange.  (Trying to stay healthy…)  And wash it all down with either hot tea or hot chocolate.

Here’s a travel tip for you:  I am really selective on my teas.  And I really don’t like Lipton.  The next cruise I take, I will pack some of my favorite teas just in case.  Tea bags don’t take up that much room in the luggage and they can have such a nice impact on my meal.  This time, I suffered through with what they offered: Lipton.

We headed off the ship to gather on the dock and wait for our transportation to our excursion.  Every stop on the cruise offers a variety of excursions, a huge selection that has something to appeal to everyone.  Given that we were newbies, we didn’t know that we should take money with us.  That was something we picked up on a little too late.  We had paid for the excursion in advance, so we thought that just by taking our beach bag with us and our ship cards, we were set.  So, my next travel tip: always carry some money with you on excursions.  There is often time for shopping, or to grab a snack, or leave a tip…ooops.

We hopped on the trolley to go to our catamaran trip.  Yup.  We decided to snorkel the reef and ride a catamaran.  We’re water people.  Keep in mind that it’s February.  While the air temperature was really great, very comfortable, definite shorts weather…the water, not so much.

Storms had gone through recently and the water was a bit murky.  We figured this out AFTER we had already changed into the provided gear.  And…I should mention that I have this fear of heights.  Yeah.  I’m okay as long as I feel safe.  Or example: staring down at Paris from the Eiffel Tower, no big deal.  Standing on an eight foot ladder to paint the crown molding…scared half to death.  Well, there only two ways to get off the catamaran and into the water.  One was to shimmy downs the stairs in gear.  I’m clumsy with unobstructed vision and bare feeet.  How in the ham sandwich am I supposed to shimmy down stairs with goggles, snorkel, and fins?  Right.

So, we went with option number two: hop off the side of catamaran and drop twelve feet into the frigid waters.  Wish we’d have known how frigid at the time.  (Okay, not Titanic frigid, but far from comfortable.)  The captain is yelling to me that I need to hold onto my snorkel.  I’m far more concerned about my bikini top.  Luckily, I managed to keep both.  S wasn’t so lucky and he didn’t even have a bikini top to use as an excuse.

There was a rope out there that we were able to hold onto while we tried to get our bearings.  And there were plenty of people who decided to struggle against the strong current to make it to the reef.  After a few minutes, we decided we weren’t going to be among them.  We had made it off the boat and would be able to claim an attempt at snorkeling the reef.  That was good enough.

We managed to swim back to the stairs.  There were people still struggling down them on one side, and those of us calling it a day on the other, struggling up.  S was ahead of me, working to stay on the steps and keep me from being washed out to sea.  Every once in a while, a protective arm would suddenly snake around my waist as I was about to be hammered with a wave.

We grabbed a few drinks and headed to the top of the catamaran to dry off.  There we took some of our first pictures of the trip.  I was determined to record S’s first experience with blue water for posterity.  Looking at them later, the colors were phenomenal, the one complaint: did I have to get the big hairy sunbathing guy behind him in the shot?  My bad.

While I laid out, S moved to the smoking section of the boat and made friends.  They were the first of many.  By the end of the cruise, we were being greeted like rock stars.  It was funny.

We returned to the Imagination and headed to our cabin to change.  And, please note, this is the one snafu we ran into on the trip, the one time my need for food was in competition with his need for sleep.  So, finally, rather than deal with the grizzly bear, I ate a granola bar.  (Yeah, I’m such a foodie that I pack snacks in case of emergency.)  He slept, while I relaxed and read.  All was right with the world once more.

For lunch, I discovered that they have the best potato salad on this ship.  It became one of the staples of my diet.  I tried to balance it all out with some veggies or salad at each meal.  The real problem: desserts are my downfall.  And there are always desserts at every meal, and a soft serve ice cream machine.  This leads me to the other problem…S is very generous.  Every time he would want ice cream, he would suprise me by bringing me one.  It would have been rude not to eat it, right?

**Check back tomorrow for our Cozumel, Mexico excursion: the excursion that started it all.

Posted in Travels | No Comments »

Part Four: Carnival Imagination…

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

We woke up ready to pack it in and head to Port of Miami.  Since we were cruise virgins, we had no idea how this worked.  Our plan was simply to walk the beach, eat breakfast, and head to the boat.

So, we walked the beach for a little while.  I found some pieces of coral. You don’t find that in Myrtle Beach.  And I was loading my hands, giggling.  I caught S looking at me.  He loves watching me walk the beach for sea debris.  He says that may be when I’m at my happiest, feeling most free.  He may be right.

And we stopped in to the hotel restaurant for breakfast.  He had the buffet, but I opted to order a smaller, more manageable breakfast.  A breakfast fit for someone who wanted to stay fit.  I had a plan, after all.  First traveler in the history of cruising to return the same weight.  Right.

We grabbed a taxi and headed to Port of Miami.  Now, on the map, it seems like a mere hop, skip, and a jump away.  Of course, for all I know the taxis were driven by crooks determined to jack up their fares on unsuspecting tourists.  We had one stop on the way.  It has, in fact, become our one stop on every trip.  S can’t keep a pair of sunglasses to save his life.  I can’t explain it.

I’m left in the taxi with stranger danger driver whose grasp of the English language is severely limited while S runs in to the nearest Walgreen’s.  Luckily, down there, it seems there’s one on every corner.  And just so I’d have a witness and possibly one last goodbye, I called my mother.  (Mom, you remember…)  Finally, S returned, moping about the selection.  (It’s a Walgreen’s, not Sunglass Hut!)

Next stop: Port of Miami.  Now, it is something to behold.  It’s incredible to see one cruise ship, but Port of Miami had at least a half dozen lined up and boarding.  As we left the cab, a man walked over and offered to take our luggage for us.  Could’ve been a scam for all I knew, but we glanced at each other and decided to give it a try.  As we were walking away, we wondered if we should have let the guy know we had liquor in the bag.  The paperwork said that they would take it and hold onto it for us.  Hmmm.

Well, we stood in lines that despite their length, couldn’t come close to dampening our excitement.  If there’s one thing we like to do…it’s people watch.  And a cruise is ripe for the picking.  So many people from so many walks of life all gathered in one place feeling the freedom that comes from anonymity.  Ahhh.  It was intoxicating.  And had I known at that time that I was going to being blogging about it, I’d have taken better notes.  My deepest apologies.

After we made it through the first line, there was the second line, and finally we were paraded in front of a camera with one of those fake vacation backdrops, like we were on the ship already.  Right.  We walked aboard…it’s almost indescribable.  There are so many decks with so many things to do and see.  We headed to the Lido deck.  It was open to the sky and partially sheltered from the wind.  There were a couple of bars on one side, the pools and hot tubs in the middle, and…wait for it…the Horizon’s Buffet at the opposinte end.  We spent A LOT of time there.  All our meals.  Four or five a day.  So much for making history.

They were already serving food.  (ALREADY!)  I didn’t stand a chance.  We grabbed a few slices of pizza while we worked on navigating the ship.  There was a band and complete party atmosphere going on.  There were waitresses hocking drinks.  Every day had a different featured drink that came in a special souvenir glass.  So, S bought me one.  There was some pink sweet opaque liquid in it.  All I knew was that I had a souvenir glass (because souvenir plastic just doesn’t sound right).

And then there was the announcement that before we could depart, we had to perform some drill.  We all had to go to our cabins, grab our life vests, put them on, and regroup in our designated areas.  Our designated area happened to be in the lounge on the Promenade deck, for which I will be forever grateful.  During this ridiculous drill, during which I was touched by a ridiculous number of strangers of varying heights, weights, and ages, we found (signal choirs of angels)…Serenity ADULT ONLY Retreat.  (I know, it sounds dirty, right?)  Nope.

Serenity consisted of two adult hot tubs, much nicer loungers and their own private bar.  It was the best kept secret on the ship.  There were only a few ways to access it.  And you really would have had to search it out to find it.  Or you could simply follow S’s directions, since he kept telling everyone we spoke to about it.  (I hate a crowded hot tub.  I was ready to cut out his tongue.)

We studied our itinerary for events fo the day.  It was so nice being able to pick and choose.  We decided that we would hit the hot tub, Serenity style, change for dinner at Horizon’s, and then attend the karaoke in the lounge.  From there, we’d play it by ear.  We knew we had an early excursion planned the next morning in Key West.  And we were both eager to make the most out of the Keys.

S made sure we saw our first sunset aboard the ship together that night.  It was so sweet.  And we loved sitting in the half moon seats in the lounge during karaoke.  The best part, just like at home, were the late nights.  We talk.  And there is nothing better than talking on the Lido deck of the ship, with a nice gentle breeze, relaxing over a drink. Nothing.  No wonder we stayed up so late.

**Tune in tomorrow to read about our excursion in Key West.

Posted in Travels | No Comments »

Part Three: Welcome to Miami!

Saturday, August 1st, 2009

We made it to our room, did the whole bag drop, and decided to explore the place that would be our home for the next nineteen hours.  It was pretty standard…and dated.  Really dated.  The bathroom had one of those small corner shower deals.  The toilet was stupid low to the ground.  (How S managed to aim and not make a mess, I don’t know.  But kudos, S!)  The bedroom had one king sized bed.  And the spread was…kind of tacky.  Clearly all the decorating dollars had gone in to the common areas.  One feature that we did love…the bedroom window.

Our room was positioned so that by looking out the window you could see water either direction.  To the left: the gorgeous blue water of the Atlantic.  Ahhh.  To the right: the bay which currently housed a ridiculous number of yachts.  There was a show going on that weekend.  Amazing.  While we walked around, we picked one out.  As lucky as we were feeling, we decided to play the lottery.  All it takes is a dollar and a dream, baby.  The fact that I’m currently writing from our comfortably modest home in Charlotte and not some beach in the Keys should tell you how that turned out.

We debated about what to do with the liquor.  We had read through the cruise info and discovered that we weren’t allowed to bring alcohol on the boat.  They would hold any alcohol for us until the end of the trip.  Blah blah blah.  So, the question was, should we drink one of the bottles now and save one for later?  Should we risk not consuming the entire bottle and wasting it?  (Major party foul.)  We put a bottle of Jager on ice and decided to play it by ear.  With it chilling while we went out for dinner, at least we’d have options.

Okay.  One thing you should know about me: I’m uber organized.  In preparation for the trip, I downloaded a Miami guide, which included restaurants.  At the same time, once I get hungry, I tend to lose focus on anything other than finding food.  My thinking brain shuts down and my primitive brain kicks in.  I forgot all about the guide.  We could have had food in minutes.  I realized this way too late.  (Don’t tell S.  Given the rest of the night, he would not react well to this news.)

We left the hotel, armed with a map (which just screams ‘tourist’) given to us by the concierge with potential restaurant destinations circled.  We decided that since we had already dropped fifty dollars on the cab ride from the airport that we would  walk.  For reasons that I to this day cannot understand, S had me carry the map.  It’s not that he’s lazy.  It’s not that he was drunk.  It’s not that he’s stupid.  It’s not because I have any sense of direction whatsoever.  Yeah.  I’ve got nothing.

With me in the lead, confident that I could sniff out food, we left the hotel…headed the wrong direction.  Now, we didn’t figure this out for several miles.  We were too busy being happy in a strange city at the beginning of a trip that held so much promise for fun and our relationship.  Ahhh.  And, I was determined to stay in shape, not get all slack and lazy and fat on this cruise.

We’re walking.  We’re talking.  We’re getting deeper into residential Miami, farther from commercial Miami and it’s promise of restaurants.  And I’m getting blisters, since I’m wearing my walking shoe of choice: my Nike flip-flops.  (Clearly, I love those things.)  S is having issues of his own, which I still giggle about, but have been warned about revealing for public consumption.  And I love and respect him too much to go against his wishes on that.  (The lucky dog.)

Because it’s food and not a nap that I’ve fouled up, he takes getting lost in stride.  We turn back, walking FOREVER.  Well, it felt like forever.  And I’m in reasonably good spirits.  And I’m hopeful that our meal will be any kind of departure from our usual dinner fare.  At home, we eat chicken.  Fried chicken.  French fries.  Tacos.  And a little pasta.  (And you wonder why I need to lose a few…)  Soon, we realize there is still nothing to eat in this town, at least where we are.  And I am not going to make it much longer.

So, we agree to stop at the first place that serves anything he can eat.  Naturally, it was a bar.  We had chicken wings and chicken fingers.  We had potato skins and french fries.  We had…exactly what we would have eaten back home, damn it.  It didn’t matter.  I knew I would be able to try lots of new food on the cruise.

We went back to the hotel.  We decided to relax a little while.  (After meal naps are S’s favorite.)  We cracked open the Jager.  We decided not to drink too much, but to instead walk around and enjoy the city.  Maybe find a bar on the beach where we could talk over a ‘rita and watch the waves lap at the shore.   Ahhh.

So, it was back out to brave the streets of Miami.  We had spoken to the concierge.  He again circled several options, but told us there was no bar on the beach.  Really?  This is a beach city.  You would think they would capitalize on it.  Grrr.  Now, are you ready for this…

We leave the hotel…and once again, for reasons I can’t explain, I am holding the map!  So, we’re walking.  And it’s dark. And we’re walking.  And soon there are no street lights.  And we’re walking.  And the neighborhood is getting rougher.  And suddenly S takes the map.  At first, I expect that he’s going to use it to determine where in the ham sandwich we are, but instead, he stuffs it in his pocket.

He starts talking to me in a low voice as we maintain our brisk pace.  And he’s dropped behind me instead of walking by my side.  Here’s what you need to know about S: he grew up in some rough neighborhoods in Charlotte.  He was a red head in a predominantly black section of town and had to fight for survival.  If anyone makes me feel safe in a scary situation, it’s him.  He’s a survivor.  He has skills.  I’ve seen them.

S: Keep walking.  We need to get out of here.  This isn’t good.

He’s on guard as a vehicle stops ahead and a guy gets out.  We slow, wondering if he’s waiting to jump us or enter the house he’s parked next to.  I probably shouldn’t have watched those episodes of The First 48 centered in Miami before we left.

S: Turn here.

I glance over my shoulder to see that he’s watching behind us.  Some may wonder why he would be in back of me.  Ah, those naive innocents have never had to watch their back.  See, if he’s behind me, he can watch in front of us and behind us.  He can protect us from either direction.  (Now do you see why I feel safe?)

We’re headed toward a busier strip of road.  And if we can just make it past these other creepy buildings and empty parking lots, we’ll be fine.  Up ahead, we see a hotel with it’s driveway packed full of taxis.

S: We’re taking a cab.  I don’t care how much it costs.  We’re taking a cab.

So we took a cab.  S explained that we were looking for a nice bar, not a club, to sit and have a drink, just relax at.  Now I wish I could remember the name of the place we ended up at.  It was nothing fancy, but there was an outdoor patio area with potted palms that we sat at.  And we finally were able to relax.

S: $6.50.

me: Huh?

S: All it took was $6.50 to save our life.

me: Oh, the cost of the cab ride here.  Yeah.  It seems a small price to pay for our lives.

S: And by the way…you’re never holding the map again.

I just smiled.  I was okay with that.  We were much better off with our lives in his hands.

**Read tomorrow about our first day on Carnival’s Imagination.

Posted in Travels | No Comments »

Part Two: And Away We Go!

Friday, July 31st, 2009

We had, at the very last minute the night before, secured a ride to the airport with a guy S sometimes employed.  Yay, Brian!  Not only did he show up ON TIME, but he helped us load the luggage in and unload at the airport.

I was excited, since I love to fly, but also a bit nervous since S never had.  To make matters worse, when we left for the airport, we thought we were in different parts of the plane.  That was okay though.  I had a plan.  I was going to very nicely explain to whoever I thought would be most amenable to the idea that since he had never flown, we weren’t sure if he was a puker, and did he/she really want to take that chance?  Good plan, huh?

Well, as it turned out, it was entirely unnecessary.  We secured seats together once we checked in at the airport.  Well, we did the whole check in two hours early bit, as advised.

In Charlotte, they were so well organized that we were completed the entire process in all of twenty minutes.  With all that spare time, we wandered around exploring.  As mentioned before, S had never flown.  It was kind of fun, seeing everything through his eyes.  We tried out the moving sidewalks.  We looked around in every gift shop.  We visited all the gates, pausing to rock in the rocking chairs in front of some huge glass windows.  As it neared time for us to board, we stopped at the Rocky Mountain Chocolates shop.

See, suddenly it occurred to me, that with everything going on that morning, and despite the fact that I had cooked an entire pound of bacon before we left the house, the whole of my breakfast was an orange.  No way in hell was that going to tide me over until we landed at 2pm.  So, we stopped to get a truffle each.  (Because that truffle was going to go a long way to stave off hunger.  And because I was determined to be the first person in the history of travel to return from a cruise weighing the same as when I left.)

There was no organized line, at first.  And when one finally formed, we had lost a few spots.  Keep in mind, this is in the airport.  Everyone is in a hurry to catch a plane.  This woman behind me is flipping her gourd while she waits.  She’s sighing.  She’s huffing.  She’s puffing.  Finally, when it’s our turn, she interrupts.

lady: Excuse me, but I’m in a hurry.

me: (I think I gave her one of my blank looks as I waited for her to grasp the stupidity of her remark) Uh huh.

lady: I really need to go.

me: I get it.

lady: (shifting)

me: Fine.  So go.  (I’m not sure why I was generous.  I mean, not that it was an uncharacteristic move, just that she was being so…grrr.)

At this point she orders three, count them THREE, candy coated apples that she asks to be sliced and bagged individually.  Now I’m ready to flip my gourd.  All I needed was two, count them, TWO stinking truffles that would have been dropped into a single bag, passed off, and I would have been on my way.  And I’m pretty sure I mentioned this to S, which may be why she made me feel like a total ass by paying for my truffles.  Damn it.  Just when I wanted to be good and annoyed for a minute.

Well, we boarded the plane.  I let him have the window seat while I sat in between him and stranger danger.  Stranger danger in this case was a mid twenties guy who was working on developing a genealogy website for his Irish family.  And he was…shall we say, a little larger than the average bear.  So he spent most of the flight seeping over into my seat.  And have I mentioned often enough that I HATE BEING TOUCHED BY STRANGERS.

We land, we get our luggage fairly quickly.  We find a line of taxis awaiting all of us unsuspecting tourists.  We hop in the nearest one, which was, of course, being driven by a foreigner from Haiti.  He takes us to the nearest liquor store on the way to our hotel in Miami Beach.  And then it’s on to Miami Beach Resort and Spa.

Here’s what you must understand about booking a hotel online.  It’s such a challenge to find a really great one.  There’s a lot to consider between location, price, amenities, decor…and we only needed to be there for one night.  I can handle almost anything for one night.  I once stayed in a motel in Virginia that had a rotten floor surrounding the toilet.  I just kept waiting for the thing to fall in on me.  And in Florence, Italy, I had to shove a wardrobe in front of the door, since it refused to lock.  So, most anything is a step up.

Well, we arrive, it looks great, a little fancier than we’ve stayed at before.  There is a concierge, which was a totally new concept for S.  And of course there are bellhops and valets.  We end up in the lobby, attempting to check in about forty-five minutes before the actual check-in time.  No big deal.  We’ve done this before.  Only now, our room isn’t ready.  And we find out our room is non-smoking and has no balcony.  (Mostly because there are virtually no rooms with balconies in Miami.  Strange.)  It’s now 3:15pm and Ghandi would have eaten more than I had that day.

As I have mentioned in the past…I get ugly when I’m not fed.  We’re waiting.  He’s doing well, despite the fact that he’s about to have a nic fit and he doesn’t trust leaving the luggage unattended in a strange city.  And my body is eating itself.  (Technically, it would mean my body was feasting.  I can afford to miss a meal.)  I’m digging through my purse for anything.  And I mean ANYTHING.  I would have eaten a cherry Chapstick.  Luckily, I didn’t have to get that desperate.  I had one of those mini-Tootsie pops.  It was cherry.  I don’t eat the tootsie roll part.  So, it was gone in seconds, leaving me with a mild sugar buzz.

With two minutes to spare for check-in, the man working on our reservation makes eye contact.  Now, picture it.  This is a relatively ritzy hotel on the beach in Miami.  There is a group of women dressed to impress, dripping with diamonds and other sparklies, and their truckload of designer luggage separating me from my room key and the promise of food after we dropped our bags.  I was as nice as I could muster, really.

me:  Excuse me!  (And then I literally blew through the center of the group.)

I’m five feet nothing.  S should be parting the way for me.  I reach the desk and start looking around for him.  Finally, I see him, doubled over laughing so hard that he can’t move.  We had stopped speaking about ten minutes before on the grounds that we didn’t want to say something that would wreck the rest of the vacation.  In that moment, brought together by laughter, all wounds were healed.  And he nicknamed me ‘the human bowling ball.’  Huh, really?  Because I have to tell you, I felt more like Moses parting the Red Sea.  Oh well.

Yeah.  I know I promised to tell you about being lost and alone in Miami today, but this post was already long enough.  Come back tomorrow and find out why I should have a GPS chip installed in me.

Posted in Travels | 3 Comments »

Part One: The Planning…

Thursday, July 30th, 2009

S had just finished a major Hardie siding job that I had referred him for.  He had told me previously that he would reward me for recommending him.  We were on again/off again at the time, but never terribly far apart.  For reasons that I won’t even bother trying to get into right now, I believed in my heart that we were meant to be.

So, when he invited me to meet him and some of our friends at Chuck E. Cheese to play skeeball, which is totally our game since our first beach trip, I went.  We had fun.  He was a bit flirty, but I tried to be as aloof as possible, remembering that this is S we’re talking about.  We’re in the middle of shooting scarab beetles and mummies when he popped the question.  (Not that question, silly!)  He invited me to Miami with him.  It was our dream to see blue water together.  Oh, and this being Saturday night, he wanted to leave by Wednesday.  (I talked him into letting me work the entire week.)

In the history of our relationship, S is famous for the take back.  He has turned it into something of an art form.  And I was always left a shattered mess.  You name it, he’s taken it back on the grounds, mostly, that he was wearing his Jager goggles as he viewed life.  Last night, he explained it differently.  It seems that I am so positive, so optimistic, so good that I make him believe anything is possible, etc.  (Not sure when that became a bad thing…)

Anyway, I was afraid that with an entire week between the departure and the planning, he might back out.  The only thing I had on my side was that he hated to waste money.  Thus, the planning began.  We had two goals in mind: swim in blue water and visit his friend Ian who lived in Miami.

Soon, I realized that if we really wanted to maximize our vacation dollar, a cruise was the way to go.  And luckily, Miami being the major port that it was, there were plenty of cruises to choose from.  All we had to do was select the length we wanted to be gone and the destinations we wanted to see.

With so little time before the departure, we had to call Expedia.com rather than book on the website.  In all honesty, given that it was our first cruise, it was probably best that we spoke with one of their helpful agents.  The cruise was booked, departing Port of Miami on Monday, making two stops in Key West and Cozumel, then returning to port on Friday morning.  It was a nice choice for a first cruise.

(Really, if you start too big, everything else will pale in comparison.  We’re working our way up gradually so there will always be a wow factor.)  Good plan, huh?

Then we worked with Expedia to book our flights and our hotels.  I never knew planning something so fun could be so exhausting.  There was so much to think about.  We wanted to spend as much time on the water as possible.  And we wanted to be within walking distance of as much as possible.  And since it was a huge splurge, we wanted nice accommodations.  There was a lot to consider.

There was also much to organize at home for our departure.  I had to make sure J would keep the kids and knew what they had going on that week.  Rachel was in the thick of play rehearsals at that point.  There was carpooling to consider.  And there was the math tutoring.  And she had to babysit.  Well, suffice it to say, a whole lot of logistics.

The hardest part of the planning…in truth…was finding someone to take us to and pick us up from the airport.

**Check back tomorrow when I tell you about becoming the human bowling ball and being lost and alone in Miami.**

Posted in Travels | 1 Comment »