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Facing Foreclosure: The Full Story

Monday, August 10th, 2009

foreclosure

When J moved out and essentially signed the house over to me, except that the mortgage is still in both our names, I struggled to make the payments. I knew there was no way that I could, given my pay. In a month I take home what the mortage payment is. (And that doesn’t include the car payment, food, gas, electric…you get the idea.)

So, I swallowed my pride. I went to Social Services, which is quite possibly one of the most frustrating and demeaning places I’ve ever been, to seek assistance. The kids have to eat. And Keenan, with all his medical issues, had to be able to go to the doctor when there were problems. S encouraged me, told me I was being smart, not lazy, etc. and that made me feel somewhat better about it.

I also continued to place ads on Craigslist and every other free site I could find looking for a roommate. I thought if I could just find another single mom to share my house, all would be well. That didn’t happen. I had a few close calls, but no one followed through. (This went on while I struggled for eight months.)

And, I contacted the mortgage company right away. (The same month the ex moved out.) I knew there would be a problem with my payments and thought I might qualify for a loan modification. I filled out the paperwork and turned it in. I continued to get harassing phone calls. And I would call the Loss Mitigation department regularly to try and fix the situation. After being on hold with them for at least half an hour at a time every day for a week, I was told that a specialist hadn’t even been assigned though the paper work had been turned in for three months.

I was receiving foreclosure notices. It was scary as hell. Finally, I had a specialist assigned. I filled out more paperowrk. She put together a plan where I would make half payments for three months, then full payments for three months, then the loan would be modified starting the October payment. I proudly made the three half payments. It messed up my car, but we needed a place to live. (We weren’t just living paycheck to paycheck, but disconnect notice to disconnect notice.)

And as you well know, by then, S and I had talked and he decided that maybe living together would be the best and most logical thing. We could rent my entire house, which was easier than having a stranger live with me. I would pay him one flat monthly fee. And even with my other bills, I could survive if J couldn’t always pay the child support. I’ve learned you can’t count on anyone but yourself. Sad, but true.

Well, I thought I had a renter right away. That fell apart, although I wasn’t aware until the day before he was supposed to move in. Crap. I had to pay my half payment and pay S. Money was tight, but I managed by playing Russian roulette with the bills. I was showing the house by now at least once a day. The house shows well, everyone wanted it, but most couldn’t afford it. (I dropped the price so that it was more affordable, meaning I was still responsible for part of the mortgage in addition to paying S and my other bills.) J and I agreed to split that amount.

Well, after much aggravation, and as I was about to lose it, wondering how I was going to make another payment, we found a nice young couple. They paid me the deposit and first month’s rent and signed the lease agreement. I figured I had a good year before I really needed to worry again. They moved in before the end of the month, and were supposed to pay me a prorated amount $200, but I was thankful I had renters and some peace of mind so I didn’t push it.

Well, August first has come and gone. I’m being given the run around about money. S and I have talked to them numerous times. And we’re not convinced that they will get the money together.

Now, please understand that the deposit is gone. I had to pay a bunch of back stuff for them to be able to move in and have heat, electric, water, etc. I thought I’d be able to make payments arrangements to pay those off over time, but that wasn’t the case. And the air conditioner went on the fritz, so I had to pay to have that repaired. And I had some medical issues last month, so I had to pay for those because our new insurance plan through work sucks donkey butt. So, no, I didn’t go spending frivolously. Oh, and I had to pay extra on the car because they were throwing around the word ‘repo.’

So, if J manages to give me child support this month, and I don’t pay S, I can…almost make the payment if the renters can’t come through. (Of course, that means I don’t pay on the credit cards and I will have to use them on silly things like gas so I can get to work…) The problem is that I doubt the ‘renters’ will simply peacefully move out. And if I have to start eviction proceedings, I’ll lose the house before I can get anyone else in there. And while I’m not opposed to selling, I don’t see that this will happen rapidly enough to solve my problem. And there’s still the issue with having…squatters live in the place. (Isn’t that what you call people who aren’t paying rent to live there?)

I’ve talked to J. He tells me he can’t afford to give me any more money than he is. I’ve talked to S. He tells me I’ve fought a good fight and wonders at what point I just throw in the towel. He doesn’t want me to lose the house…credit issues and all. At the same time, although he hasn’t said it, I can’t be a burden to him. I can’t put the financial strain of him paying for me and the kids to live with him on our relationship.

So, please, tell me if I’m missing something. Is there some option that I haven’t exhausted? Is there a government agency, a non-profit organization, a philanthropist…

Feed back please!

Oh, and if you happen to know S, don’t mention this. He’s a very private person. He can’t fathom why I would put my life out there for public consumption. And he would think I’m telling too much. Maybe I am, but I guess I’m also tryin to work through this and prove to myself that I have exhausted every option that I have, done the best I can. Grrr.

thenicknick@ymail.com

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Not the Usual Update…

Monday, August 10th, 2009

foreclosure 2

So, I’ve made it my Monday thing to give everyone an update on my progress towards my goals. And because I try so desperately to stay positive, let me begin by talking up all the good stuff before I get mired down in the bad.

I lost two pounds. I know. It may not seem like a lot, but at least the scale is moving the right direction. Yay, me!
And I now have an exercise routine I like. Tonight, I’ll be in the 7pm Pole 101 class. Sounds naughty, right? It isn’t. But it is good and fun. And we all need some fun.
Living with S, while it has its ups and downs…we’re adjusting. There are a lot of stress factors right now, but he likes having me around. And as long as we keep those lines of communication open and I adjust to his no holds barred style, we should be just fine.
The kids…we still love each other. And they are looking forward to returning from their father’s tomorrow for our naming ceremony. (We have fish in our fountain. Watch for that post.)
I’m still loving blogging and writing in general. I get a huge satisfaction out of watching my readership grow. Thank you! And please keep sharing because I should be hearing from my agent again soon and I want good things to report.

Well, that about wraps up the good stuff. Here’s what’s causing a lot of stress right now. It may take a while to explain, so hold on tight. I’m letting everything hang out in the hopes that someone will have a brilliant idea for me. I’ll take even less than brilliant ideas right now. Any moment now, you should notice I reek of desperation.

I’m facing foreclosure. I know that there are tons of people in the same boat. And I know that I’m no more special than anyone else in this situation, but I pride myself on being a problem solver and being able to fix everything through sheer will and creativity. I specialize in thinking outside of the box. and right now I’m out of ideas.

See my post on the full storyto understand what’s going on and what I’m up against. And please, share any ideas you have for me. I’ll take any suggestion.

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Okay, today I’m pissy…

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

volcano Last night I was accused of it, but for sure, right now I am. And I’m hoping it’s that PMS thing because according to EPT there’s no baby baking. (Now Mom, we’re not trying, but accidents happen.) So, here are some of the things just irritating the heck out of me this morning.

I’m constantly running late. I never used to run late. Heck, I used to be early. Now…late, late, late.
In my efforts to lose weight, I have actually managed to gain .2 of a pound. Yup. That’s me. Dieter extraordinaire. Luckily, it hasn’t managed to impede my ability to zip my pants.
And I really can’t talk about the last one. Although, I will admit that I have just now started taking a new diet pill that came on a free trial basis. (I will let you know how it works.) And I’m not looking forward to some of the side effects it promises. It does say that it helps with a woman’s sex drive. And I need that like a I need another hole in the head.
I hate having an edit button. Sometimes I just want to vent. (This is nothing! Ask Donna.) I just really want to say whatever I feel right now, but I know I can’t. I know that if I do, somebody who knows S will stumble across it and say, “So, your girl says…” This makes me very irritable. Luckily, Donna is bound to walk by soon for a break and I can cut loose on her. She likes it!

Ahhh. I’m feeling better already. It’s good to have a plan.

So, anyone else need to vent this morning. Come on…I can’t be the only one. Let ‘er rip. You’ll feel better. And it will make me feel better, too.

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I vant to be alone…

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Sometimes I get tired of having so many people around all the time. I miss the quiet and solitude that came with living on the corner, as opposed to now being in the thick of things four houses down on the road. I get tired of having to feed people, and entertain people, and mostly clean up after people. I get tired of the fact that I have no where to go to get away in the evenings other than hide in the house. And, this sounds horrible, but I get tired of being nice. After a while, something that normally comes so naturally to me begins to feel forced.

See, to be in the garage or on the patio on a nice summer evening means subjecting myself to any number of people from the bubble or surrounding the bubble. And while it is a huge compliment that people like our house so much, that we make them feel so welcome and comfortable that they constantly want to be a part of our lives…well great, but sometimes…I vant to be alone.

Let me clarify. What I really want…is alone time with my family. I want to be able to hang out, just the four of us and play outside, or talk ,or even gather around the patio for a meal. I want to sit on the couch and watch a movie or television show.

Last night…we had four extra people for dinner. When they went home, we had four more people replace them…and three dogs. Did I mention that we don’t currently own one dog, let alone have three to watch? And I spent my evening saying, “Get off the couch!” I mean, as a guest, am I so wrong to think that you should respect the house rules? No dogs on the furniture. Not an outlandish rule. Please, for the love of God, just keep your dog’s hair and sharp nails off my couch!

So, by the end of the evening, I was spent. And this morning, even after a good six hours sleep, I’m still spent. And as the various guests were leaving, some promised we’d see them tonight. And some thought they’d bring friends back tonight to meet us. And I’m suddenly glad that our weekend is booked and I’ll be bubble-free for one night.

I’ve tried talking to S, venting in a calm, cool, organized manner. So far no good. Any advice?

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