Favorite Things…To Do
Thursday, July 2nd, 2009
When J first moved out and S was no longer in the picture, I struggled with how to spend my free time. We had agreed, on paper, that the kids would spend three weekends a month with him, since would barely see them otherwise. Initially, this was rather fun for me and S, lots of single adult time. So, when I was suddenly all alone…I had to figure out what to do with myself.
I was lucky. In a pinch, I could go visit Jennie, so that I didn’t have to feel so alone. And I could visit Lisa in Wilmington. And Donna went to visit her boyfriend practically every weekend and often needed someone to entertain her while he was working. (And I’m nothing if not entertaining.) Yet I couldn’t be gone every weekend. I couldn’t keep running away. At some point, I had to take the time to inspect my life and figure me out.
I should warn you, I’m a lister. I make ‘to do’ lists. I make comparison lists. (Boy, did that get me in trouble.) I can find a way to list virtually anything to sort things out and organize my life. So, it seemed only natural that I would try to answer what for some would be a simple question. What do I like to do? For anyone who’s been in a relationship for any length of time, however, and found it suddenly end, this makes perfect sense. (Remember Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride? She didn’t know how she liked her eggs. It’s something like that.)
Things I Like to Do:
- travel (I challenge anyone to pack for a week or a weekend faster than I do. I’ve turned it into an art form.)
- read (I like this for the same reasons I like to travel. It transports me, and it’s way cheaper.)
- write (There’s something about working my life out on paper, fictionalizing aspects, and creating ideal outcomes that really appeals to me.)
- cook (It does more than fulfill a basic need. Ever since watching Like Water for Chocolate, I knew there was way more to food than that.)
- spend time with/take care of those I love (To quote S, I’m the biggest nurturer he knows, all goodness. Not so sure about the ‘all goodness’ part, but if he thinks so…)
- remodeling/decorating (I like things to be comfortable and nice, probably that nurturer thing.)
- combining any of the above (For example, stick me on a beach with S and the kids with them playing and me reading/playing etc.: bliss!)
- try new things/ stay active (I have gone parasailing, despite my fear of heights, and had a blast. I’ve ridden a jet ski in the ocean. I’ve gone to every festival imaginable. I love watching my Panthers in action. Take me to the theater, symphony, opera, ballet. I’ve done it and would do it again.)
It’s not a long list. And no doubt it will continue to grow. I’m a simple girl, kind of, with mostly simple tastes. Right now, I’m still figuring me out. And I would encourage everyone to do the same. Somehow, knowing yourself becomes an anchor in tough times. Once I became better at it, I loved my alone time.
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