2012 September 24 | Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

When I read The Bloodletter’s Daughter, by Linda Lafferty for the From Left to Write online book club…I realized how lucky I was. It wasn’t simply that I lived in a more evolved time, medically speaking. It was that I had lived, I had survived, I had avoided a worse fate.

See…not so long ago, I was the object of a strangers obsession. It was partially my fault. Really. After Sam and I broke up three years ago, I tried to date. I tried to forget. I put my self out there. And a man found me. It wasn’t such a surprise. I had essentially invited him in. We corresponded. And eventually he convinced me to meet him for dinner. That was…the point.

So, I met him. And mid way through the meal, he told me that the meeting wasn’t what I thought it was. He was, in fact, married. He had nine children. Yes, NINE. And by reading my blog, he had decided to make his marriage work. He was meeting me for dinner to say ‘thank you.’ And as a token of his appreciation, he bought me a necklace from Tiffany’s.

Yes, and that was the high point of our relationship.

After that, something changed. Even though he claimed he wanted his marriage to work, he was calling me, trying to set up dates. He wanted to grab a blanket and thermos of hot chocolate and lay under the stars and talk. That’s not something you do with a friend, or another woman when you want your marriage to work. I pointed that out. My heart wasn’t into dating anyway. I still loved Sam.

Then, I arrived home one day from work to discover he had left me a package on my patio. And there went my healing place. I no longer felt safe. It had ceased being flattering. It was no longer fun. I didn’t stay at my apartment that night. The next day, his wife contacted me.

Would you believe that felt like a relief? She had read through the emails. She knew that I wasn’t trying to steal her husband. She just had no idea how out of line he was. And I filled her in.

I blocked him. I unfriended him. I struggled to get to a place where I felt safe again, where my home no longer felt violated. But I know I was lucky. I was lucky because I lived. Not everyone with a stalker has fared as well.

There were lessons learned. And Sam came back into my life. He decided it wasn’t safe to leave me unattended. Not really, but he did realize he loved me. And the only one obsessed with me now is the man I’m married to, just the way it should be.

Inspired by a real-life murder that threatened to topple the powerful Hapsburg dynasty in the 17th century, The Bloodletter’s Daughter imagines how one young woman holds more power than she thought possible. Join From Left to Write on September 25 as we discuss the The Bloodletter’s Daughter. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes.

Another example of something that didn't quite go as planned. And we couldn't be happier.

My weekend, and this may be shocking….didn’t go as planned.

I know! Nothing ever goes as planned, so I plan as I go.

That should be my new motto.

Saturday was supposed to be the ceiling and a preemie foundation fund raiser: Pierce’s Project. Instead…it was just the ceiling. The sheet rock guys were three hours later than they were supposed to be. And because we really need to get our projects done on the weekends so that we are free and clear for paying homeowners during the week…we couldn’t reschedule.

The kitchen ceiling has been one major blemish on the house. Major. We had a drop ceiling in there. And then Sam took it down while we were in our remodeling rush before Kenna came home from the hospital. Once we had a look at what was underneath…I almost wanted to put it back. The ceiling above had four light fixtures, but only two working. And there were cracks in the sheet rock. Shoot, some of it was crumbling and had been previously patched.

Hence the sheet rock guys.

Their price was ridiculously reasonable and they promised to be done in an afternoon. Sam would sand and paint on Sunday.

And he did.

He also installed two new lights…that we picked out and love. And he painted the walls to match the dining room. It’s not perfect, but it’s a start. We still plan to paint the cabinets white, change out the hardware, and add crown at the top so they look finished. All reasonably inexpensive yet high impact changes. It will be great.

And then here’s where I come in.

I need to reorganize the kitchen. I do. We have entirely too much clutter on the counters. Seriously. I hate it. And yet every time I try to do something about it…more pops up. It’s insane!

So, I am going to go through cabinets, organize and make sure everything has a place. Our house has felt like this remodel that will not end. We have accomplished a lot this year….new floors, new windows, new paint, new ceilings in the master and kitchen. Still, it seems that there is always more to do. And about the time we finish inside, there will be a dozen more projects outside.

We’re good with that. I love the sense of accomplishment. And at least this is tangible. Most of the writing I do…not so much.

And since we’re destined to spend so much time at home this year, it’s a good thing it’s a comfortable place. It’s a good thing that it’s an inviting place that our friends want to come to. It’s a good thing that we have each other. That way…we’re never bored. Of course, we’re never completely organized either. And I can live with that.