When I read The Bloodletter’s Daughter, by Linda Lafferty for the From Left to Write online book club…I realized how lucky I was. It wasn’t simply that I lived in a more evolved time, medically speaking. It was that I had lived, I had survived, I had avoided a worse fate.
See…not so long ago, I was the object of a strangers obsession. It was partially my fault. Really. After Sam and I broke up three years ago, I tried to date. I tried to forget. I put my self out there. And a man found me. It wasn’t such a surprise. I had essentially invited him in. We corresponded. And eventually he convinced me to meet him for dinner. That was…the point.
So, I met him. And mid way through the meal, he told me that the meeting wasn’t what I thought it was. He was, in fact, married. He had nine children. Yes, NINE. And by reading my blog, he had decided to make his marriage work. He was meeting me for dinner to say ‘thank you.’ And as a token of his appreciation, he bought me a necklace from Tiffany’s.
Yes, and that was the high point of our relationship.
After that, something changed. Even though he claimed he wanted his marriage to work, he was calling me, trying to set up dates. He wanted to grab a blanket and thermos of hot chocolate and lay under the stars and talk. That’s not something you do with a friend, or another woman when you want your marriage to work. I pointed that out. My heart wasn’t into dating anyway. I still loved Sam.
Then, I arrived home one day from work to discover he had left me a package on my patio. And there went my healing place. I no longer felt safe. It had ceased being flattering. It was no longer fun. I didn’t stay at my apartment that night. The next day, his wife contacted me.
Would you believe that felt like a relief? She had read through the emails. She knew that I wasn’t trying to steal her husband. She just had no idea how out of line he was. And I filled her in.
I blocked him. I unfriended him. I struggled to get to a place where I felt safe again, where my home no longer felt violated. But I know I was lucky. I was lucky because I lived. Not everyone with a stalker has fared as well.
There were lessons learned. And Sam came back into my life. He decided it wasn’t safe to leave me unattended. Not really, but he did realize he loved me. And the only one obsessed with me now is the man I’m married to, just the way it should be.