So when I decided a few years later that enough was most definitely enough, I figured I could go the same route. I would have to. I didn’t have the money for a hefty retainer. I didn’t have any idea who to hire. And I figured I was the one person I could trust in the world.
I downloaded the forms. I filled everything out. I paid my filing fees. A year and a day later, the divorce was granted. Seemed simple enough.
Fast forward to three years later. We’re divorced. That part went well. Oh, but none of the agreements made as part of the divorce are enforceable. Yup. The custody, the visitation, the child support…apparently none of this is enforceable. And how did I find this out? When it needed to be enforced.
That meant more court time. More money. More filings. More waiting. And nothing happened. I jumped through all their little hoops, taking their mandatory $50 parenting class. And then they canceled my court date. I’m still waiting fifteen months later.
This wouldn’t have happened if I had an attorney.
My recommendation would be that even if you don’t think you have the money, find a way to get an attorney. No matter what the cost, no matter where you live, be it a lawyer New York or a lawyer New Orleans, spare no expense. There are things that are far more costly…years of fighting, for example. Years of not having any enforceable agreements, and years of struggling can take a toll.
I learned my lesson. S already knows there is no way outof this marriage, but death. He seems good with that. And if I can just get my day in court, my life will run more smoothly.
This post was sponsored by a company that can help you find an attorney in
Lousiana. However, the views and opinions are my own.
WOW. It’d probably be a good idea if you had no kids and not a ton of assets to split. Sorry to hear about those problems…
((hugs))
So basically a DIY filing has serious flaws. That sucks. They make it so much easier for the attorneys and courts to profit off of other people’s unhappiness. That seems disgustingly wrong to me — but it’s not surprising.
There are a ton of rules that it is really hard for someone who does not do it for a living to keep up on. I know it sucks. Heck, I do it for a living and it can still be a challenge. Usually there is a facilitator at the courthouse (or at least there is in our state) whose job it is to help folks going pro se in a family law case to navigate some of the crazy hoops.
In addition, there are attorneys who are willing to have you pay for an hour just to go over the paperwork to make sure you’ve done it correctly and give you any necessary pointers. Yet you can still maintain control and still do it yourself. Sometimes an hour of attorney time can be worth it to make sure you know what forms to file where, and what your deadlines are and whatnot.
Most attorneys worth their salt (like the ones I work for) are there to HELP people and not to swindle them. Sometimes, unfortunately, it can be expensive and there can be factors over which no one has control of. Particularly if the other party is unreasonable or hires an unreasonable attorney. There are some crackpots out there, but I think most involved in family law are in it to be of service. After all, let me tell you, family law is not where the money’s at. If you want to be rich you go into corporate litigation or something along those lines. Not family law.
Additionally, there are often mediation services available through the court that can help you, but that assumes a spirirt of cooperation exists on the other side. I’m guessing that it probably doesn’t here.
Sorry you have to go through this. Good luck. I say if it’s not too late go see an attorney for an hour. Just to make sure you did what you need to do. It doesn’t necessarily mean you need to hire one.
Also, your local county bar association probably has a referral service that will help you find a reputable lawyer. Word of mouth helps too, and ultimately you can also check their ratings online.
Ok, I’ve babbled enough. I hope any of this was useful.
Best wishes!!