Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

Happiness is being a sacred vessel…

Author: thenicknick

Okay, the secret is revealed.

S likes to tell everyone we’re pregnant.  I’m telling you right now…I’m waaay more pregnant than he is.  Okay…not waaay pregnant, I’m only six weeks.  But since he can’t ever be pregnant…you see where I’m going here?

So, I know that you want the dirty.  How did it happen?  To that I respond with…sometimes when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they give each other a special hug.  And sometimes the daddy says, “Mommy, you aren’t getting any younger.”  And sometimes the mommy says, “Why not?”

Or something like that.

We all know that S has been raising kids with me for the past two and a half years.  He has never had children and would welcome the chance to raise one of his own.  And I want nothing more than the opportunity to do it right just once.  Right for me means that I’m with someone who will be involved in every aspect of the process, not check out after the conception.  So far, really good.

So far, I’ve been really lucky.  I haven’t experienced any morning sickness…although it could simply be too early.  In fact, other than the fact that my boobs are already bigger and super sore, and that I’m exhausted, but have trouble sleeping…not much is different on the physical front.  Ummm.  Okay.  The belly is already different.  It’s as though my body has remembered.  And it looks like I’ll be in maternity gear before I’m ready.

Because S has never done this before, it was really important that we tell people…with style.  For he some he went with the sheer shock value.  For others, he shared it almost as an aside.  With the kids, we planned an elaborate scavenger hunt.  And when they made it back inside, there were signs on their bedroom doors.  Rachel’s: I’m a big sister…AGAIN.  And for Keenan: I’m a big brother…FINALLY.  They haven’t taken them down.  And they’ve known for almost two weeks.

How have I managed to keep this secret for so long?

Well, sheer necessity, of course.  I hadn’t told my mother.  It never quite seemed like the right time.  And I knew her focus would be on the health risks and whether or not we’re getting married.  We’ve talked.  We can’t.  Really.  Maybe someday my circumstance will change.  Until then…never gonna happen.

And I wanted to wait to share with the masses until I had been to the doctor.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not even close to being out of the woods yet.  For me, that won’t happen for at least another 24 weeks.  There are a lot of benchmarks we need to pass on the way.  I have my first ultrasound on the 29th.  Yup.  They’ll be searching for a heart beat and finalizing the due date and making sure there’s only one little bean in there.

While I kept S at bay for this appointment so that I could be completely candid about my past pregnancy history without freaking him the heck out, he has expressed an interest in being a part of as many other appointments as humanly possible.  It will depend on his work schedule.  Ever since he found out, he’s been motivated to do anything that involves making money.  He’s pretty great.

It came as no surprise for me to be told that I’m a high risk pregnancy.  It mostly has to do with my history.  Apparently I’m not nearly as old as some people imagine me to be.  *ahem*  So, I’ve already been told that I will be getting weekly shots starting at 16 weeks to prevent preterm labor.  Yay.  And I have been encouraged to watch my diet (done), to continue to participate in aerobic exercise daily (mostly done), and the prenatal yoga was also viewed as beneficial.  It’s going to be a bumpy ride, but I am determined to have a healthy baby.  I’m making the most of this pregnancy.  Fingers crossed.  We’re shooting for no hospitalizations, no months of bed rest, no seizures, no massive swelling, and no high blood pressure.  Is that asking so much?

Now for some good news.

My sister and I spoke last night on the phone.  It was great.  She was so happy for me, so excited to have another niece or nephew.  She works in the medical field and told me lots of success stories to ease some of my fears.  I loved hearing her voice.  And I’m secretly hoping that maybe this baby will bring us closer.  Maybe we’ll talk more on the phone and text more and email.  I miss her.  I miss my nieces.  I miss my brother-in-law with his snappy one liners.

But right now…in this moment…I am so very happy.

This entry was posted on Thursday, October 14th, 2010 at 6:32 am and is filed under Happiness is.... You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.