2010 August 31 | Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

Archive for August 31st, 2010

Not a bad way to start my week…

Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

I had a horrible sleep. That was the down side. I woke up cursing HIM, who often fights in his sleep. I cursed him for the elbows to the back of my head. (Of course, I was grateful that I was facing away from him, or the damage could have been much worse.) And I was cursing him for the kick that connected with my leg and the others that I had to avoid in my half-sleep. And I was cursing him for the blow to the ribs that had me retaliating with a matching blow. (HE whimpered and then I felt bad.)

So, I woke up in a not so happy place on a Monday. And I told Rachel about it as she prepared for school.

Rachel: I would have been on the couch. Why didn’t you move?

And it’s simple. I would rather suffer his occasional dream-wrath than be anywhere else in the world. A bad sleep next to him is still better than a decent sleep alone.

Still, I walked my butt down Carmel Road. I’m working on week three of exercise. Yay me! And I used it the same as always…thinking time.

There’s much to consider. I can’t even express it. Much of it, of course, has to do with HIM and our talks. These talks are good and big. And I’m reluctant to share. I never want to ever whisper a hint of anything that isn’t a done deal. Soon. I hope.

And I was saddened when I came across the dead deer on the side of the road. It was there on Friday. It was still there after the weekend. It was no way to start the day.

That’s when I crossed the bridge back to The Bubble. And I saw it…them. Deer! Never before have I seen them just wandering through the neighborhood, but this morning…yes! A mother and two babies, walking through my old yard. And I followed, hoping to catch even a grainy image on my phone. It wasn’t to be. The mother was justifiably wary of my presence and stalking.

That’s when I headed home. Home. It has such a lovely ring to it. And that’s where I am, wherever HE is. Home.

I stripped down to shower, but he had woken some due to my presence.

HIM: Here.

And he lifted the blanket, inviting me in. How could I resist?

me: Okay. Only for a minute. I have to get ready for work.

He held me tight, commenting on how cold I was. And I told him about the deer. He won’t remember. I know we’ll talk more later.

This is my 500th post. 500. Time flies. I remember sending the very first post out into the web, wondering if anyone would ever read it, if anyone would ever find me. Thank you. Thank you for finding me and reading me. And really thank you for taking time to comment.

It somehow seems fitting that this is the last day of August. I have hit so many milestones in the last few months. With any luck, a lot of drive and determination, and some serious skill…I hope to achieve many more.

Goodbye, sweet summer. Until we meet again…