Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

Grrr…

Author: thenicknick

The fact that this is my third attempt at a post today, does not bode well for my Friday.  Like everyone else, I have a lot going on.  And as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before, I am passionate about everything.  It’s just the way I am.  (I say passionate, HE says emotional.  And we’re both right!)

So the original post that I had prepared for today was an impressive rant in the form of a letter to my ex-husband who is a big smelly pile of poo.  You know the poo I’m talking about…the kind that sticks to your shoe and you can’t get off…EVER…that continues to smell and…well, you get the idea.  So, Kimberly read it.  She can vouche for the fact that I’m not the slacker you imagine me to be.  I really did have a great post ready.  Only…it was up for all of 37 seconds when I remembered that sometimes Rachel still reads the blog.

And that’s when I took it down.  Dammit.  Mommy loves you!

And that’s why I let that jackass get away with not paying me child support for the past seven months.  No bitterness here.  And that’s why I haven’t taken him to court yet.  That and the fact that I know he’s going to be a complete and utter moron and try for full custody.

Just once I’d like to see a judge look at him and say, ‘Sir, you don’t pay your child support.  You mooch off the man you live with.  You’re in default on every account you have….car, credit cards, student loans.  You spend your money inappropriately.  All indications suggest you should be in AA.  You can’t be bothered to call your kids more than once a week, if that.  And you think I should give you full custody?  Are you out of your f’ing mind?!’

Ahhh.

Right.  This is what he threatens me with.  And even though I know he doesn’t stand a chance in hell of getting custody, I hate that he’s going to put me through this.  I hate that he’s going to stick us under the microscope rather than simply cough up some money.

Well, these issues spilled over into my night.  And things that might not normally bother me, suddenly became a huge issue.  And before I knew it, I had let things build up until I lost it and became a big emotional embarrassing mess in front of HIM.  I forgot the cardinal rule: I can’t get upset with him for not giving me what I need if I don’t ask for it.  And he forgot that sometimes when I’m hardest to be around is when I need him the most.

We worked through it the same way we always do: excellent communication, some magic hugs, and a do-over.  (HIS suggestion, but originally my idea that he has embraced whole-heartedly.  Yay!)

All is right in my world once more.  If I could only get that poo off my shoe…

And I wanted to leave you with a happy song, but I can’t find the one that is going through my mind…sort of.  If it was really going through my mind, I would be able to get enough of the lyrics to locate it.  So, grrr.  Just grrr.

I’m thinking of buying a lottery ticket.  No, I’m not feeling particularly lucky.  It’s not that.  The last time I bought a ticket was just over a year ago with HIM when we were in Miami.  If we won, we were going to buy this island I found in a realty book.  It was in The Keys.  At $3.8 million, complete with a  house and dock, it seemed like a steal.  Better luck this time?

Yeah, despite all the hairy BS I’m dealing with, I feel pretty lucky.  I have two amazing kids who adore me and the man I love not only loves me back, but plans to love me back forever.  I can weather anything else.  Go ahead, Jeff.  Bring it.

Quick Karma:

• restrain yourself from acting on angry impulses
  

This entry was posted on Friday, March 12th, 2010 at 5:38 am and is filed under Just Venting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.