Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

300…not the movie…

Author: thenicknick

Today is my 300th post.

I look back with pride at how the blog has evolved over the last seven months.  And I look back at how my life has evolved over the last seven months and I’m completely awed.  We’ve really grown, me and the blog.

Yeah, I used to post a monthly State of the Blog address and couple it with a lovely picture of a fireplace, but somehow that doesn’t seem so important anymore.  I was focused on the numbers, focused on growth because that’s what my literary agent told me I needed.  Now, the blog is bigger than that.  It isn’t about numbers anymore…although big numbers are good and will ultimately help me achieve bigger goals.  And the growth that has become most important to me is my own.  I’m growing as an individual.  I’m getting to know me.  I’m focusing on being the best mom I can be, although I’m already out of the running for Mother of the Year in 2010.

The blog has taken on a life of its own, much like my life has taken on a life of its own.  I wrote, at the beginning, these happy somewhat strained posts about living with HIM and trying to build a life/family/home with HIM.  And it was what I wanted more than anything.  Only after a time, you come to realize that what you want isn’t always what you need.  And sometimes you discover that while it hurts to lose everything and hit the proverbial rock bottom, sometimes you need to dust yourself off, see what’s left, assess the damage and your assets, build from there.  Sometimes, when you think you’ve lost everything, you discover you have so much more than you thought you did.

And sometimes to be truly happy, you need to remember to stop focusing on what you’ve lost and revel in what you have.  You need to learn to live in the moment instead of yearning for what you’re missing.  Though these lessons are a challenge to accept, the truth is that in doing so…everything you need will be found.

See, I’m still a diamond in the rough.  Really.  Now, I may not be as rough as I was a few months ago.  I’ve made progress.  Lots of progress.  And it made me start to think about diamonds…the analogies about them, the one I thought HE was gearing up to give me, what makes diamonds so special.

These gemstones have an amazing story.  See, diamonds are the only the only gem composed of a single element: carbon.  They are practically indestructible, as indicated by the origin of their name: from the Greek “adamas,” which means indestructible.  Diamonds are formed under the most stressful of conditions…a combination of pressure, chemistry, and temperature.  After they are formed, it takes thousands of years for them to get close enough to the surface to be mined.  And given the conditions diamonds are formed in, few are flawless.  Instead, in order to create a quality gemstone, sometimes as much as 60% has to be chipped away.

Somehow I find that to be very reassuring.  So, I’m just going to keep puttering away, chipping away at my flaws to have that quality life.  And apparently there’s no rushing these things.  If it takes thousands of years for diamonds to become a cherished gem, what makes me think that I should be there already.  As for the pressure, the chemistry…that’s when the biggest changes in my life take place.  Big risks.  Big rewards.

So, for now I’ll remember that the journey is the destination.

Quick Karma:

• know how precious and sweet life is

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010 at 6:12 am and is filed under Reflections. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.