Suddenly Single Journey

Communication…

Author: thenicknick

It was a day of lack of communication, a breakdown in communication, a negotiation to cease all communication, a miscommunication, a …well, you get the idea.  And it made me think about communication…in general…a lot.

First, we had a lack of communication with the new guy.  He called me first thing in the morning and while I normally answer with a ‘hey,’ Sunday I was feeling particularly bolstered and confident so I answered a little differently.

me: Morning, handsome.  How’d you sleep?

And the line went dead.  Right.  And there went my confidence.  Nah.  Actually, it merely fizzled my balloon.  No big deal.  I waited a few minutes for him to call back.  Only it didn’t happen…for over an hour.  During that time I rushed to shower, in case he was on his way over, and do the ten second tidy, in case he was on his way over.  So, my balloon was very nearly entirely deflated when I realized he was most definitely not on his way over.

Well, when he finally called back, I was back to my standard ‘hey.’  And he explained that his phone died and he had to go look for his old battery and then he had to charge it before he could call.  And then he told me that I was the first person he had called, that I was on his mind from the moment he woke up.  Ahhh.  All better.  And then the phone went dead…again.  It was roughly 10:30am.

By 11am, I had given up and was working on my girl time plans with Kimberly.  I invited Laura.  She was supposed to call back at noon to confirm.  And that call never came.  She did, however text just as we were leaving the movie at nearly 8pm.  Huh.  She wanted to know if my curse was alive and well.  It wasn’t because I brought my movie repellent.  At least, that’s what I’m going to call Kimberly from now on.  She exudes this delightful *I dare you to sit in my vicinity* vibe that just forces people to keep on walking.  I can work with that.  In fact, because of it, I may bring her to all my movies from now on…dates included.  Sorry, new guy, but trust me when I say you’re gonna want that third wheel.

And in yet another breakdown in communication, Kimberly’s husband, David, didn’t quite grasp that our movie was at 3:30pm.  So, when he arrived home at 3:30pm to watch their daughter, that was too late.  Yup.  We had to go to a leter showing.  And since my kids had come home the plans changed again.  So, instead of it being just the two of us, it was Girl Time plus one.  And that one was Rachel.  And normally I love love love having her around.  (Yes, three loves because I enjoy her that much.)  Somehow today…all day…she was completely…for lack of a better word…pissy.  Yes.  Pissy.

She had already, before coming home, managed to call and pick at me.  She was upset that the new guy had come over.  She read it on the blog.  And I was in no mood to discuss it with her…on account of there’s nothing to discuss.  I pay the bills.  Me.  All by myself.  And so I get to say who comes over.  Me.  Only me.  And yes, that means who she has over, too.  Me.  Because, and for the record, we don’t live in a democracy.  Not everyone has an equal say.  We live in a momocracy.  Oh, and I’m the mom.

Before the three of us had even left for the movie, I was already exhausted.  Kimberly and I really wanted to relax and sometimes Rachel can just be draining.  In fact…she was so draining that by dinner at a local Chinese restaurant I looked at her and sighed.

me: I can’t listen any more.  Please.  Stop talking.

She wasn’t thrilled, but she was getting tofu.  Sesame tofu, to be precise.  They arrived in deep fried squares dusted with sesame seeds soaking in a brown thin sauce.  Yum.  (No offense…vegans, vegetarians, and tofu lovers.)

Rachel: Mom, you are going to try this.

And this is what I hate about her being at her father’s house.  I’m not sure what goes on over there, but the first day back, rough.  I can’t stand when she thinks she’s going to tell me what to do.  And I was already tense for sooo many reasons…one of which was that I was missing the new guy.  We’d yet to be out of touch for that length of time and while it wasn’t an issue of doubts, I was missing his constant presence.  And it bothered me to admit it.

So, she plopped half a square on my plate.

me: Can’t eat it.  It’s in my garlic sauce.

And the cajoling began.  Finally, I just negotiated my freedom.

me: Fine.  I’ll eat it, but you have to be quiet for the rest of the night.

Rachel: Nope, for the rest of the night you have to eat a whole one.

me: And what’s it gonna cost me to have a painless morning, too?

Rachel: The whole one plus that section.

Well, I eyed them for a moment.  They didn’t seem that big…until I put them on a fork.  And they had this whole deceptively innocent look about them.  I mean they looked like deep fried hunks of cream cheese.  Do they deep fry hunks of cream cheese?  If they don’t, they should.  Tofu suddenly seemed almost palatable.

me: Okay.  I’ll eat the whole one, and the part, but there will be no more talking.  In fact, there will be no noise of any kind, including grunting, and you’ll be pleasant in the morning.

Kimberly was watching in sick fascination.  Yeah.  That’s how it is around my place.

So, with the agreement all hammered out, I ate the tofu.  I channeled my inner survivor and thought about how it could be worse.  And I tried not to make myself sick while thinking that.

And I thought I would have been happier with the silence.  Instead, Rachel was sad and defeated and lifeless.  Grrr.  I ate tofu for nothing.  Once we were home, I insisted she talk.  I’m just a big ol’ softie.  And I talked to the new guy a couple of times.  He had to buy a new phone and get a new phone number.  And, you guessed it, I was the first person he called.  He was really apologetic.

me: I’m not used to going so long without talking to you.  You’ve spoiled me.

NG: I’m sorry.  I apologize.

me: It’s not your fault the phone died.  I’m sorry you had to deal with all that stress.

So while communication was a bit off, it all came together eventually for all of us.  We kept trying.  We kept reaching out.  And that’s what counts.  The effort paid off.  Don’t give up too easily.  Strive to be heard.

Quick Karma:

• stay in contact with family and friends

This entry was posted on Monday, February 1st, 2010 at 12:04 am and is filed under Just Sharing. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.