Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

Remodeling my life…

Author: thenicknick

For years I was into remodeling projects.  I would watch TLC and all the remodeling and renovating shows with a passion most people save for the bedroom.  It was my fix.  I live to dream.

Then the ex and I bought the house.  He literally backed the U-haul up to the door and left me to it for three weeks.  He was opening a new restaurant and would come home to sleep for a few hours, but otherwise pretty much was a distant memory.

In the time that he was gone, I unpacked the entire house.  And without his input, I started making changes.  I changed out the hardware in the kitchen.  (And learned how to use a drill.  My first power tool.  I was sooo big!)  Then, I noticed a piece of wallpaper in the master bath that was peeling away from the wall.  So, I pulled.  Of course I did.

And I actually thought it through.  I knew that there was a danger that I’d find a huge mess or something underneath, but instead it was simply a painted wall.  There it was.  My first big remodel.  The bathroom needed a complete overhaul.  There was no storage, no place for toiletries, no room for towels.  The tile was original and beyond dated.  The toilet was, too.  The tub…I could work with.

So, I rented a steamer to remove the wallpaper, only to discover that the one wall with the gaping wallpaper was the only wall that had paint under it.  No, the other walls were three layers of wallpaper with horrible layers of paint in between, down to sheet rock that didn’t have any primer on it.  Can you say ‘nightmare?’  Oh, I was in remodeling hell.  And it only grew worse.

Much worse.  Soon my mother would be coming to visit and the thought of five people sharing one bathroom was more than I could fathom.  So, my plan was to have the bathroom walls repaired and primed.  It would at least be useable.  Then, once she departed, I would finish the remodel.  Yup.  That was my plan.

Only as I was drying my hair in the hall bathroom one morning, out of the corner of my eye, the toilet passed by.  Really.  And I paused as my mind tried to wrap itself around what had just happened.  Yeah, after swearing to never do any home remodeling projects, the ex decided to yank out the toilet without consulting me.

To say that the next two weeks were ugly would be a gross understatement.  See, he had just put the remodel on steroids.  Now we  had to remodel the entire bathroom.  There’s no putting in a new flange and new toilet and new wax ring on an old floor.  And in order to remove the floor, the cabinet and sink had to come out, which also meant taking down the mirror.  Oh, and since all that was being done, I might just as well scrape the popcorn off the ceiling.

That’s what started the massive remodel on a limited budget and fixed schedule.  Two weeks.  That’s all the time I had.  And those two weeks were a flurry of work for me, since I still had to do my regular job.  So, I’d start some project before work and recommence after work.  Yeah, me.  All me.  The only help I had was my sorta brother-in-law.  (Thank you, Rob!)  After you factor in labor, surety bonds, and other costs it sure beats hiring a contractor. 

Oh, and the ex drove a long long way away to pick up the linen cabinet.  Let’s face it.  He was safer there, far far away from me.  I used that time to demo the tile floor.  It was an act of blood, sweat, and tears.  (Those tiles were like little razors as they flew around the room.)

I learned one skill after another.  I learned how to use a tile saw.  I learned how to lay tile and mix leveler and grout.  I learned how to spackle and venetian plaster.  I learned I was a product person and not a project person.  I learned the ex and I had less in common than I thought.

When it was over, I was happy to be done.  When the marriage was over, I was fine with it being done.  When the house sells…or is forclosed on, I will be okay with it being gone.

Now, I have too much else going on.  I am working on the biggest remodel of my life.  Yeah, it’s the complete overhaul of my life.  It feels like a fire sale.  Everything must go go go!  It feels like a demo to the bare bones.  And what is left is being rebuilt from the foundation up.  It’s all new and shiny and improved.

I’m adapting to the changes.  I’m embracing this new life.  Like the remodels of the past, there have been some unexpected surprises.  I’m discovering friends I never knew I had.  I’m developing skills I never knew I needed.  And though I tend to be a product person, this time, I am enjoying the process.  It’s a good thing because this is going to take a while.  There are no quick fixes for my life, which is perfectly fine.  Anything worth doing is worth doing well.  Imagine what it will do for my resale value.

Quick Karma:

• people become what they expect themselves to become

This entry was posted on Friday, January 29th, 2010 at 6:11 am and is filed under Remodeling Stories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.