Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

Sometimes…the horizon is closer than you think…

Author: thenicknick

I have been lamenting how hard I’m working at staying happy these days.  I’ve been struggling.  No lies.  I live all out there.  And I’ve talked about how there’s no one in my future, no one even close.

Well, ummm, I was wrong.

Yeah.  I spent my shower all sad and focused on how it was closing in on that time of year where everything was going to make me think of HIM.  The Superbowl is closing in and we spent that together last year.  And the night before the Superbowl was the night we reconnected and played skeeball and he popped the question.  No, not that question…

And after the Superbowl, he spent the night…noteworthy because he only did it twice in nearly two years.  Very similar circumstances.  Very similar outcomes.

So, then I’d be thinking about how we spent the next week planning a spur of the moment cruise and the week after that being on the spur of the moment cruise.  I’d be devastated on V-day, quite possibly henceforth to be known as Singles Awareness Day, to recall that we’d spent that day last year driving through The Keys and that it was our last night in Miami.  The week after we returned, I was cautiously optimistic that we’d make it, only to have him mess it up…again.

Yet, that still would catapult us into a hundred more memories.  This was what brought us to the point where we ended up living together.  And when I think of all the bad stuff that happened, you would think that would be enough to help me keep a healthy distance.  Yet, it isn’t.  I love him still…I love him anyway.  I love him despite the hurt, the humiliation, the blows to my pride, the devastation to my kids.

I had pretty much decided that I might just look for a distraction.  All I needed was a shiny new distraction.  And I wasn’t going to be picky.

What I didn’t tell you was that there was a guy on the fringe.  We had exchanged smiles.  And then we said hello.  Last week it was names.  And now…numbers.  Only, we seem to be picking up the pace because…he’s already called and texted.  And he prefers calling.

But wait!  There’s more!

I like that he hates texting, but makes an exception for me so that we can stay in touch.  I like that I have been completely upfront with him about who I am and my expectations and he LIKES it.  I like that he talked about how important it is to stay consistent and that he hates when people say, “oh, you used to do this.”  So he’s paying close attention to what is going on between us now…because whatever he does, he wants to be consistent and maintain.

Wow.  That alone nearly bowled me over.  You mean there are guys who will text and call and stay in touch and try to make plans in advance and follow through and EVERYTHING.  OMG.  Seriously.  I never even had to refer him to the rules for dating me.  Crikey!

He tells me that he was drawn to me because of my smile.  Huh.  I smile at work?  And he told me he thought I was beautiful.  And he has only seen me in scrubs.  I clean up very nicely.  Yay!  Then he said something even better.  He said that once he started talking to me, he discovered I had a great personality.  Wee hooo!

But wait!  There’s more!

When I tried to demonstrate that I was all understanding of the fact that he needed to take a nap in between jobs, and that if we couldn’t get together I understood, he was a little bothered.  He told me that it had to be about what we both wanted and if I wanted to see him, we would get together.   So, I’m baffled.  How did it take me so long to discover someone like this?

I’m learning more very day.  And what I’m learning is that he is straight-forward and honest, which means he is also trustworthy.  He’s divorced, so we have that in common.  And he has kids, so we have that in common.  And I’m looking forward to finding out what else we have in common.

Luckily, the date helped.  We planned to meet at Starbucks.  Cliche, I know, but it was the best I could come up with.  Yeah, look at me all lacking in creativity.  I blame it on the time of day and the fact that I couldn’t combine the date with food and anything else that will make me look less lame.

Just as I was getting ready to leave.  He called.  And I wasn’t worried that he was canceling, I had him pegged for simply running late at the office, which he was.  No worries.  He asked me to give him a few minutes and he’d call to let me know he was leaving.  Let’s add considerate to the growing list of his qualities.

And then he met me at Starbucks.  I liked the way he honed in on me immediately, that he offered to get me another hot chocolate.  I like that he looked at me and wasn’t distracted by anyone else.  I liked that the compliments kept coming…good ones, too.  I liked how comfortable I felt and how right it seemed to be with him.  And while I kept this running tally in my mind of everything that I liked…I liked even more that it was about him and not me comparing him to HIM.

The new guy stands on his own merits.

When at last it was time for us to leave, he walked me to the car, opened the door for me, tucked me in.  Seriously.  Oh, but that was after a few lingering hugs.  Yeah.  I like lingering hugs…the kind that last and you don’t quite pull away from and you maintain contact.  Uh huh.  Then, when I drove away, he called and talked while we were driving.  He hated that the date had to be so short.  He wanted more time with me.

So there was more calling and texting.  And he went off to work.  He told me he’d call when he left work, but wasn’t sure what time that would be.  And I told him I’d text him goodnight and I wasn’t sure if I’d answer.  Only…I did answer.  And when I did, he told me he wanted another hug before bed.  I met him outside in a bathrobe.  And we hugged for several minutes.  Then I talked him home so I knew he’d make it there safely.

He’s already said some beautiful things to me.  He told me I’m safe with him.  And I know he means in every respect.  Ahhh.  And he told me that he’s surprised, but for some reason, hugging me just feels right.  And I understand.

We’re taking our time and going slowly…sort of.  He wants to see me again today.  And who am I to deny him?  *smile*

What a pretty horizon.  What a beautiful new day.  Here’s to hope in all its glorious hues.  Here’s to lingering hugs and handsome new guys.  Here’s to happiness in spades.

Wishing you the same…

Quick Karma:

• see the forest and the trees

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 24th, 2010 at 8:54 am and is filed under dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.