Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

This is why I’m happier single…

Author: thenicknick

See, I’m not good at relationships, which makes no sense to me because I was married for a really long time.  And I was good at marriage.  I knew how to keep a place clean enough to be healthy and cook family meals and raise some incredibly awesome kids.  I knew how to decorate and remodel and turn a house into a home.  I knew how to be the quintessential wife.  Books could have been written about me, poems recited about my accomplishments, and buildings dedicated in my honor.  Yeah, I was that good.

And every once in a while I long to be that good again.  I long to have the right man to share this life with, only our life.  Because even though I can do all those things, I’m still pretty stinking non-traditional.  And that is the kind of life I’m comfortable with.  I like eating around my coffee table.  I have even been known to eat over my sink.  I will do late night food runs.  And I will drop what I’m doing at a moment’s notice to offer the love and support the man in my life deserves.

I just need to find a man who deserves me.  You would think that it wouldn’t be so difficult.  It’s not as though I have these ridiculously lofty standards, these impossible ideals.  No, I’m pretty reasonable, there are a lot of gray areas, things that are more than negotiable.  If I love you, I can forgive a host of imperfections, embrace any number of quirks, look beyond the surface to the diamond deep inside.

It’s just that I should never be insecure in a relationship.  It should go without saying that if you claim to love me, you should want to connect with me on a daily basis.  It doesn’t have to be something deep and earth shattering.  I don’t need to be serenaded or expect daily flower deliveries.  No, I’m more than satisfied with a simple text message to let me know you’re thinking of me.  I’ll be content with a brief phone call.  I’ll be over joyed if you actually want to see me, even for half an hour.  Just show me every day, in some small way that you care.

See, I hate hanging.  I hate feeling like a loser who isn’t even worthy of a phone call.  I hate that I get so wrapped up in whether or not there will be contact.  After a while, I think that I would rather be alone than sad.  The beauty of being single, as in not married, is that I don’t have to work things out.  I don’t have to try to make relationships fit if they don’t.

Never again will I give a man that much power over me.  Never, I say.  Never, I mean.

Guess I’ve come up with more rules for dating me…

1. You should want to connect with me on a daily basis.
2. Keep your word.
3. Don’t say things you don’t mean, make promises you can never hope to keep, or set impossibly high standards you can never hope to maintain.
4. Be honest.  Even if it’s not what I want to hear, I’ll respect you for speaking the truth.
5. Respect me.  Respect my feelings.  Respect my needs.  Okay, so you don’t feel like talking tonight…see rule #1.  Drop me a text.  It’ll keep me happy…which in turn will go a long way towards your happiness.
6. Make me a priority.  I don’t have to be first, just make me count.

As always, I reserve the right to add to, eliminate, and edit the rules at any given time and without prior notice.  They are my rules, after all.

Quick Karma…

• forgive those who have hurt you

This entry was posted on Friday, January 8th, 2010 at 6:06 am and is filed under relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.