Suddenly Single Journey

So ready…

Author: thenicknick

It’s been a crazy week without the kids.  So many people were concerned about what I would do with myself, how I would manage to keep busy and not be so lonely and miserable without the kids around.  I wasn’t worried.  I knew I’d miss them, but at the same time, I knew I had so much to accomplish that I wouldn’t have time to feel their loss as acutely as I would have say…this time last year.

I’m a different woman now, not just because I’m older, but because I’m in a better place.  I feel it all the time, this happiness that wraps around me like a warm blanket, comforting me, causing me to smile and giggle and hum…or even sing out loud.  And I like that me, that’s the me that I like sharing with my kids, my friends and family, and of course the world.

So, I spent Friday night alone, unwinding, not accomplishing much…but after DAYS of baking and running the roads, there’s something to be said for a little down time.  Saturday was a mass of preparations for the wrap and nog party with Laura and Kimberly.  Sunday saw me baking and shopping.  Monday was a wash, since I was holed up in the safety of The Bubble.  (Yes, The Bubble rolls deep.  Mess with one of us, you take on all of us.  And I still maintain Bubble status.)  Tuesday, I was still dealing with the ramifications of my over zealous admirer…and my big accomplishment was moving back into the apartment after work and finishing my shopping.  That brings us to Wednesday where I played catch up, cooking, wrapping, and cleaning, since Spring had invited me over to unwind before the kids came home.  And I was feeling so big because I was all done with a day to spare.  This was one for the record books.

And what did I have to bring to Spring’s?  Nothing.  Only before I left, I remembered that her family really loved my homemade applesauce.  And I had some leftover apples.  And it was only 3pm.  And if we were just going to relax, I might as well surprise them by teaching them to make applesauce and leaving the entire batch for the family.  Merry Christmas.

So, I packed some sugar (since they use Splenda) and cinnamon and a pan and a knife and apples…then headed on my way.  I hadn’t even made it out of the complex when she called to ask if I had some spare wrapping paper.  Why, yes I did.  And I drove back to the apartment to get two rolls of wrapping paper then headed on my way…again.

Well, after Breanna greeted me like the second mother I am and while Spring was changing and Jay was trimming his hair, I went straight to work on making apple sauce.  And next thing you know, I have been pea-schnuckered into making Magic Cookie Bars and running home to get my egg nog.

Soon, we realize that Breanna’s presents still need to be wrapped and Spring only has one arm and Jay sucks as wrapping and Breanna, who has wrapped all the rest of the presents, can’t very well unwrap her own….and even sooner I’m beginning to wonder when this relaxing is going to begin, since it’s obvious I’m now going to have to wrap these presents with my wrapping paper.  And none of the presents are box shaped.  No, we have cylinders and handles and all manner of freakish packaging.

I’m tired.  I left at 10pm to go home and relax.  Just know that I could never say ‘no’ to these people.  I know that if I ever need anything they will be there.  They kept me from being truly homeless that week with two kids.  So, it doesn’t matter if I’m tired.  They appreciate my efforts.  And I value their friendship.  I joked that I had come under false pretenses and that I was, in fact, working in their little Merry Christmas Sweatshop.  The truth is, they made me a part of their Christmas.  Isn’t it baking and cooking and wrapping that are an integral part of the holiday?  I left my stamp, my own ‘Nicki was here.’  In truth, I was blessed to have a chance to be a part of it.

I wish you a very Merry Christmas, a truly relaxing holiday spent with those you love…your family, your friends, your friends that are family.  And don’t forget to love yourself.  You deserve it!

This entry was posted on Friday, December 25th, 2009 at 4:58 am and is filed under Reflections. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.