Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

Finding the heart of a home…

Wednesday, September 30th, 2009

There is a lovely contest sponsored by Samsung right now where bloggers can post about where the heart of their home is.  Then they are to encourage comments on their post to win a new washer and dryer.  Well, I’m good right now in the washer and dryer department.  And since I already won a laptop this month, trying for appliances I didn’t really need just seemed greedy.

At the same time, I loved the topic.  It made me think.  A lot.  And I wondered how I would respond to the question.  See, I’m in a wonderful position right now.  We’re fitting together really well, all of us.

S compliments me regularly on the way I make his friends and family feel welcome.  He truly appreciates my efforts.  I make big meals.  I bake cookies and other desserts…when I have an oven.  I keep the place clean, despite the kids and puppy-cow’s best efforts.  All of that goes a long way to making people feel good about being someplace.

So, I tried to break it down to just one room, one spot that screamed ‘heart of the home.’  See, S and I have been remodeling the place one room, one project at a time.  We’ve turned a house into a home.  And he loves that it feels so warm and inviting.  (We’re not done yet!)

Which leaves me to wonder…could the heart of the home be the study where we work on our computers at the end of the day, he invoices while I write?  We’re surrounded by my beloved books and our treasured memories.  We have our pictures and souvenirs from trips, my beach debris.  It’s so cozy and soothing in there.  Last night, while I wrote, S laid on Bishop on the floor next to me, watching me and visiting.  It was damn near perfect.

Or maybe it’s in the kitchen where we cook our big Sunday morning breakfasts together.  S will man one frying pan cooking sausage and egg pancake while I man the other to cook bacon and then French toast.  The kids pop in occasionally, only to be shooed out when their little not so stealthy selves try to snag some food.  There’s much laughter and joking and food.  Is that what has it in contention for heart of the home?

Or what about our screen porch which houses the hot tub?  Never was a room decorated with more love.  We have the fountain we built last summer which now houses our koi.  We had planned a naming ceremony for the fish, but we tend to only name them pre-burial at sea.  (Hence our two fancy tailed goldfish: Belly-up and Floater.)  And I love the candle I made from collected stones and sea glass that sits on one of the end tables we received from his sister.  We have so many happy memories in that room.  It’s the room where he told me he had waited his entire life for me.  It’s the room he asked me out in.  It’s the room where just last night he told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him.  It’s the place where he holds me and sings with me and unwinds with me at the end of a long day.  Ahhh.

Or could it be that the great room with its floor to ceiling stone fireplace and cathedral ceilings, the place where everyone gathers to watch television and eat and share their day has become the heart of our home?  We do spend a great deal of quality time there.  We gather around the coffee table to eat most of our meals.  We play with Bishop in that room.  We entertain our friends and neighbors there, most of the time.  And that is where we hunker down, turn out all the lights, and snuggle in for family movie night with lots of snacks.  Keenan makes a mean garlic popcorn.  And Rachel can turn a trough into a sundae lickety split.  No wonder that room is in contention.

And then I remember the man cave, the former garage that we painted with entertaining in mind.  It was decorated to resemble one of S’s favorite old hang outs: Midtown Sundries.  The ceiling is black, the walls a deep sage green and chocolate.  There’s a Panther pool table that we spent the better part of a Sunday last fall choosing.  And there’s the spare fridge and a few couches.  We have our favorite wall out there, the wall that we record everything on.  We have our garage monkey’s rules.  (PS. Our garage monkey moved out Labor Day, but he still visits.)  And we measure the kids’ growth, and now Bishop’s.  This is the popular late night hang out.  We don’t advertise, merely put up the garage door and turn on the lights over the pool table.  Suddenly neighbors come in droves.  The stereo adds a delightful bit of authenticity to the atmosphere.

All of this podering, reflecting on my life has me more confused than ever.  Maybe there is no one place that is the heart of the home.  Maybe the heart is where we are at the moment, for where we are there is love.  Maybe that’s the true secret to a happy home: loving who you are with where you are every moment you can.   Maybe the heart of the home isn’t so much about a place as a feeling.  And I feel blessed to have these incredible kids and such an incredible man in my life.  I’m blessed to share what I have with great neighbors and great friends.  So as far as I’m concerned, more than the color palette on the walls, the covering on the floor, the decor style, it’s the warmth emanating from within that makes the heart of a home.

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