Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

Part Ten: The Full Experience

Author: thenicknick

Sunday, the day we returned, was rough in so many ways.  I was a little sad at the end of the trip.  With S, I never knew if it would be the last.  We were having consistency issues.  And I just feared that the bonds we’d built over the last few days wouldn’t survive the reality of our return home.

So, we made the most of the day.  We had another amazing hot buffet breakfast at Don Shula’s Resort.  And then we went to Wal-mart so that I could print out some pictures from the trip.  And then we hit the beach one last time.  Our flight wasn’t leaving until four, so we figured we’d be fine as long as we made it to the airport by 2pm.

We walked the beach, our last true moments of happiness that day.  S pointed out the naked hot chicks sunbathing.  And I gathered shells, coral, and stones.  We kept getting splashed, which bothered me not at all, and him a little, since he worried over his phone in his pocket.

We made a pit stop at KFC so I could get some food.  I’d been craving their cole slaw since the beginning of the trip and finally was able to quell that desire.  Then we stopped to fill the rental car with gas, since they’d charge us some outrageous fee if we didn’t.  And, as usual, we attracted some crazy guy who spent the entire time S was pumping gas talking to him.  Since we didn’t want to end our vacation with a stabbing or shooting, he played along.

For future reference, if you ever have to return a car at the airport in Miami, leave yourself A TON of time.  Aside from the convoluted route to find the car drop off, there’s also the distinct possibility that you’ll be stuck in some huge hulking line, and an even greater possibility that you’ll have to wait even longer on a bus to take you to the actual terminals.

S saw a whole lot of different sides of me this trip.  I was digging in with the best of them to get our place on the bus.  Did everyone really think they could cut in front of me just because they had a plane to catch?  Right, like I was just taking a tour.  I had a plane to catch, too, people!  We had to stand on the bus, but I really didn’t care.  It was already ten after two.

Initially, I didn’t think that ten minutes could make much of a difference.  Hah!  We are dropped off at our terminal, since we were supposed to fly American Airlines.  PAY ATTENTION…this is why I will never fly American Airlines.  EVER.  EVER EVER.

First, let me begin by explaining that there are no fewer than three areas to check in for American Airlines.  They have employees stationed outside of each area to try and route people appropriately.  Try.  We finally are told that we must go to the last one.  We arrive at what looks like a giant corral.  People are herded in like cattle and behave like animals.  There is pushing and fighting to get one of the automated ticket machines, and then there is more pushing and fighting to get in line to check the baggage.  And I’m already more than a little annoyed and worried.

We finally make it to the desk and the guy berates us for arriving too late.  By now it is maybe 2:45.  And I apologize and express that had I known I’d needed more time and a black belt in karate to make it through the crowds, I would have been here earlier.  He then tells me that our luggage will not make our flight, but it will be on the next flight which was arriving in Charlotte at 11:40pm that night.  I’m mildly annoyed, but at least we’re going to make our flight, right?

So, we race (and I’m no runner) to the gate to make it through that hassle.  I have my carry on bag (a caribbean beach bag that I bought on the cruise) that has all of our really important stuff in it and some breakables, as well as our beach towels, etc.  The lines are SO LONG that I quickly realize there is a distinct possibility that we might miss our flight.  I explain my concern to one of employees who tells us to go to a different line that should be faster.  Right.

At 3:30pm we are still trying to make the line.  At 3:35 they run my bag though the sensor and stick it on top of the machine.  Now, no one is speaking to me.  No one will tell me what’s going on.  And I’m trying not to look totally pissed because the last time I did, over Thanksgiving, that just got me a pat down (and I usually at least get dinner or drinks first).  Finally, the woman looks at me.

Evil Power Drunk American Airlines Employee: Staring at me isn’t going to make this go any faster.  You have liquid in your bag.

I looked at S: Do you think glaring will help?

And then I begin racking my brain for the mystery liquid that escaped my attention in my bag.  Within seconds, I realize that it’s the suntan lotion that I failed to put in the suitcase.  Shitake mushrooms!  And I offered to take the lotion out, let her keep it, and simply run my bag again.  But no, that wasn’t an option.  My bag had to be hand searched.

I’m losing my mind at this point.  Finally a woman comes with the blue gloves and pulls my bag to the side.  We have glasses from the cruise (real glass, purchased in the gift shop, not the souvenir plastics) and a shot glass from Margaritaville, and bra and panties (I was still wearing the bathing suit under my clothes), and I really didn’t want the entire bag unloaded for public consumption and under these time constraints.  So, I tried to tell her where the offending lotion was.

me: It’s right there on the left side.  No.  That’s not it.  Down there on the left…

And it’s obvious the woman is ignoring me.  She unloads EVERYTHING.  Yes, everything.  Right down to my matching bra and panties.  Don’t worry, Mom.  They were clean.  At least they were until they were deposited on that counter…

She pulls out the lotion, which, remarkably was right where I said it would be.  Then told us we could leave and walked away.  I shoved everything back in the bag as quickly and carefully as possible and we ran to the gate, only to be told we missed our flight.

Now, the flight isn’t supposed to depart until 4pm and it is only 3:45 at this point.  How is that possible?  The man is unrepentant and directs us to the service desk…which we discover is currently unmanned.  S is a little nervous.  This is only his second flight and he’s missed it.  I’ve traveled all over by plane, including internationally and I’ve never missed a flight.  Okay…make that, I’ve never been at the airport and missed a flight.  There was one time…at summer camp…

***Come back tomorrow so I can tell you how we clicked our heels together and finally made it home.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 10th, 2009 at 6:58 am and is filed under Travels. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.