Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

How I Stumbled Upon Matchmaker.com

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

At the risk of sounding desperate, since I’ve already revealed that I actually signed up for an account on Match.com, and I posted…twice…on Craigslist, I feel the need to plead my case with Matchmaker.com.

So here’s what happened…I was searching Craigslist.  (Searching, not trolling, people.)  Since I was struggling to find a roommate or rent the house and was selling off household items to make ends meet, I would occasionally also check out the jobs posted.  One day there was a posting that claimed they were looking for people to review various sites.  All I had to do was sign up on this site (no money involved), check it out thoroughly, write a review and submit it for their approval.  If they liked my style, I’d earn an easy $25.  I figured the way I love to write and play online, I was the ideal candidate for this position.

They sent me the link for the site I was to review.  Great, another dating site.  With little enthusiasm, I signed up and filled out the profile info.  I wasn’t going to pay for a membership or even include a picture.  This was a one time shot, I wasn’t looking for a love connection.  I was on again off again with S, and doubted I’d ever get over him, completely disinterested in starting anything new…when I started getting emails from one guy: Chris.

Chris was the same age as S, meaning about eight years younger than I was, and we all know how that turned out.  He was persistent, I’ll give him that.  And somehow I end up getting peaschnuckered into a date, on St. Patrick’s Day no less.  By this time, I was getting better at this online dating bit, maybe even dating in general.  I had ruled out movies.  We were not going to be able to meet much before 8:30pm because I had a Parent Meeting for Rachel’s play.  (You would have thought it was a Broadway production with the time devoted to it.  And it did look amazingly professional at the performances I saw.)

The plan was to meet at the fountains at Stonecrest in South Charlotte.  The fountains are gorgeous, all lit up at night.  You can sit right on the edge, or on some of the stone benches built into the walls.  It’s really romantic, if you’re with the right person.  I wasn’t.  That became evident within…minutes.  You know how you can talk to some people for hours and the time flies.  I called this date in an hour and fifteen minutes.  Yup.  And that was way too long.

First of all, he looked like he was twelve instead of almost thirty.  And he fidgeted constantly like a twelve year old.  At first I gave him the benefit of the doubt.  I thought he was nervous, but when I asked him, he assured me he was like that all the time.  Great.  That wouldn’t get on my nerves too much.  And you know how some people are these great listeners and you can tell they really want to get to know you?  He wasn’t.  He talked over me.  He would ask me questions and not listen to the answer.  Through it all, I was patient.  Then, he started touching me.

I like being touched.  I crave being touched.   By the right person.  And he wasn’t.  And he couldn’t take a hint.  Finally, I just decided to be as bold as he was and ask if he was always this forward.  He assured me he was.  By this time, I’d lost count of the strikes against him.

He walked me back to my car and told me what a great time he’d had and how he looked forward to getting to know me better.  I smiled…weakly.  Soon I was home and hopped online.  My old friend, Holly was online and we began to chat.  She was finishing her senior year at Chapel Hill and didn’t always have a lot time to talk.  I was scowling when I realized that I already had an email from Chris asking for a second date.  And then, minutes later, I had a text.

Cursing, I went for the phone.  If it was Chris, I was probably going to rip him a new one.  But it wasn’t.  It was S.  He was having a lousy St. Patrick’s Day and missed me.  We exchanged a few texts before I was heading down the road for his house, uninvited.  The last text I sent: Let me in.  The door was opening as I reached it.  Ahhh.

For the next few days, I received countless emails and texts from Chris, asking to get together again.  I told him that I didn’t think we had much in common.  He asked me to give ‘us’ a chance.  What does that mean?  There was no ‘us.’

me: Why are u so determined to date me?  I have more baggage than American Tourister.

Chris: You seem nice.

me: Clearly, I’m not that nice.

Chris: Please give us a chance.

me: sigh

I wish I could remember how I finally managed to get through to him that we were just not going to happen.  So much has transpired since then.  And what did I learn from this experience?  (I try to chalk everything up to a learning experience.)  If a job seems too good to be true, it probably is.  I never heard from the company again.

Tags: craigslist, dating, online dating
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