Suddenly Single Journey

Let the Punishment Fit the Crime

Author: thenicknick

It was early March when I received yet another phone call at work from Rachel’s English teacher.  And my first thought is, of course, “What has she done now?”  (Although it’s really always about what she hasn’t done.)

I love my lazy children.   And this is why.

Her teacher announces that Rachel has failed to turn in her portion of the group research paper.  Great.

me: So, what are the parameters of the assignment?  I’ll make sure you have it tomorrow.  (If she has to pull an all-nighter.)

English teacher (henceforth, et): Well, she had to read a book, then write a paper on it.

me: How long does it have to be?

et: A page and a half, double spaced.

me: What? She writes longer text messages!

et (laughing): I’m sure.  Now don’t be too hard on her.  She said she did it, but that the cat turned off the computer.

At this point, I want to laugh.  me: Did she happen to mention which one of our lazy, albeit highly evolved cats did this?

et: No.

me: Thanks for the call.  You’ll have your paper tomorrow.

At this point, I’m dying because I have to wait to nail Rachel.  And really, I was rather looking forward to it.  I pick her (and Ashley, who thinks she’s my other daughter) up from play practice.  Before she can even sit down, I ask which cat turned off the computer thereby preventing her from completing her assigned work.

Rachel (already looking guilty and biting her lip): Ummm, Sophie?

me: Hah! She weighs what?  Two pounds?  You should’ve gone with Harry.

Then I announced that she needed to take out a piece of paper and something to write with since she was no longer allowed to speak until she finished her paper.  She tried to argue with me, which she found particularly frustrating while writing.  Then we stopped at the local market to pick up some bread.

me: And remember…no speaking.  So, if you find the rosemary foccia bread, simply wave your hands in the air wildly until I see you.

It was a good night.  It was a quiet night.  It was the night I became a legend at her high school.  Believe it or not, the kids heard about the entire incident through Ashley and thought the punishment was brilliant.

I’m not sure it had the same pinache as the ‘you’re grounded until you’re married’ time, but that’s a whole different story.

Tags: child rearing, punishment

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 28th, 2009 at 5:30 pm and is filed under Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.