Suddenly *Not So* Single Journey

Fourth of July Recipe Ideas

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

I love cooking.  (I’m not as fond of the cleaning up.  Instead, I view it as a necessary evil.)  And so, I thought I might include some of the recipes that tend to be real crowd pleasers and everyone asks for.  Hope you enjoy them!

Creamy Horseradish Potato Salad

(found on epicurious.com)

½ c. mayo

1/3 c. sour cream

3 Tbsp bottled white horseradish (not drained)

1 Tbsp white wine vinegar

1 tsp. sugar

¾ tsp. salt

½ tsp. black pepper

1/3 c. chopped fresh chives

3lbs. cooked potatoes, cooled to room temperature, quartered

Whisk together top ingredients until smooth.  Add chives and potatoes, stir to coat.

Michigan Sauce (kind of like a chili, no beans, to put over dogs)

2 lbs. hamburger

2-8 oz. cans tomato sauce

1/2 c. catsup

1 tsp. mustard

4 tsp. vinegar

3 tsp. Tabasco Sauce

1 onion, diced

1/2 green pepper, diced

1 clove garlic, crushed

3 tsp. chili powder

dash red pepper

Add all ingredients in order, and simmer over LOW heat for 1 hour.  Do NOT brown meat first.

Ice Cream Cake

1/2 gallon ice cream, pick a flavor (softened to spreading consistency)

1 bag of Oreos (crumbled)

1 stick of butter (melted)

1 tub of Cool Whip

Hershey’s Syrup for garnish

Create a crust using one bag of crumbled Oreos and one melted stick of butter in a 9x 13 pan.  Place in freezer to harden.   Once the crust is hard, spread softened ice cream evenly over crust.  Place in the freezer to harden.  Once the ice cream is frozen, cover with the tub of Cool Whip.  Wrap the pan with aluminum foil and place in freezer.  Remove from the freezer about fifteen to twenty minutes before serving.  Garnish (liberally) with Hershey’s syrup after plating.

Tags: food, holiday ideas, recipes
Posted in recipes | 1 Comment »

Finding my Match

Monday, June 29th, 2009

One day at work I had lunch with the thoroughbreds.  While Donna was happily ensconced in a relationship with the man of her dreams (Thom, you are one lucky man.), Tina was playing the field, juggling men like clowns do plates and with far more success.  She was complaining about having dates just shy of every night that week.  Finally, I just came right out and asked her.

Where do you find all these men?

Her response: Match.com.

I have to admit, I was intrigued.  Now ask Michael, the consultant I work with, and he’ll tell you that I’m no thoroughbred.  I’m built for comfort.  Luckily, many men like comfort.  Even more luckily, I don’t need hoards of men, I just need one, the right one, the one.

So, that evening, after I did the mom thing and cooked and cleaned, and did the other mom thing–kick Rachel off the computer–I went on Match.com.  Oh, the pressure.  So many elegible bachelors, so little time.  I struggled to create a profile.  I’m convinced that what I’ve got doesn’t translate well online.  Could be because I’m not what you’d call ‘photogenic.’  Nope.  Not even a little.  My daughter is completely baffled.  (And she was completely annoyed.  Who do you think had to spend hours taking ‘candids’ of me posing?  Yet still we’re on good speaking terms.)

Finally, the profile complete, the photos loaded, I awaited my approval and passed the time surfing.  I had a list of favorites to compile.  It was fun, like shopping, only for men.  Same problems with fit though.  I was forgiving.  I was determined.  And before long, I was being contacted.

Like Craigslist, my heart wasn’t into it.  I spent too much time picking at flaws, they all had the same one: not S.  And when I moved in, I deleted my profile and canceled my membership.

Of the various online dating services, this is the one I’d go with, if things went south and I had to throw myself back into the dating pool.  I studied various models and found this one to be easiest to use, and most effective.  I liked getting my Daily Five, a specially compiled list of guys I had something in common with.  (Sometimes it was obscure like, ‘He likes to watch football just like you!’  They might as well have said, ‘He’s a mammal, just like you!’)  And there were daily emails of guys that matched what I was looking for, and guys that were looking for someone like me.  (That was always reassuring.)

In the online dating world, Match.com rules.

Tags: online dating
Posted in A Single Girl's Guide | 2 Comments »

Fresh Look

Monday, June 29th, 2009

Yeah, this is a time of change and growth for me.  I’ve discovered in the short time that we’ve been living together that being a weekend girlfrined is a far cry from being a live-in girlfriend.  For example, a weekend girlfriend only has to maintain perfect hair, makeup, nails, toes, and clothes a couple of days a week.  The weekend girlfriend has time when she’s not being the weekend girlfriend to keep it together.

The live-in girlfriend has to somehow maintain all that and more (usually a house) constantly, incessantly, and somehow under a veil of secrecy that helps her keep the air of mystery about her beauty regemin.  For me, it’s something like great, he’s running to Lowe’s!  Do I have time to squeeze in a dye job and a facial?

And every once in a while, I want to spice things up, keep him guessing, subtly change my appearance.  Some women complain that their man doesn’t notice anything. I have the opposite difficulty.  S notices everything. So, I’m struggling to come up with something that might be overlooked.

That’s when I found the offer I had to share: free trial on colored contacts.  Every time I do something new, it refreshes me, rejuvenates me.  So when I clicked on http://www.freshlookcontacts.com and discovered that I could get a free pair of contacts in a wide variety of colors that would change the appearance of even my dark brown eyes, you bet I paid attention.  Fill out a short form, and the coupon is emailed to you.  Print it and bring it to any participating shop.  I’ll be checking out Sears Optical, and I’ll let you know how it goes.  I’ll even try to include some pictures.

Wish me luck.   Now have some fun and go get some free stuff!

http://www.freshlookcontacts.com

Tags: beauty, coupon, free, products
Posted in Freebies and Bargains | 2 Comments »

Let the Punishment Fit the Crime

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

It was early March when I received yet another phone call at work from Rachel’s English teacher.  And my first thought is, of course, “What has she done now?”  (Although it’s really always about what she hasn’t done.)

I love my lazy children.   And this is why.

Her teacher announces that Rachel has failed to turn in her portion of the group research paper.  Great.

me: So, what are the parameters of the assignment?  I’ll make sure you have it tomorrow.  (If she has to pull an all-nighter.)

English teacher (henceforth, et): Well, she had to read a book, then write a paper on it.

me: How long does it have to be?

et: A page and a half, double spaced.

me: What? She writes longer text messages!

et (laughing): I’m sure.  Now don’t be too hard on her.  She said she did it, but that the cat turned off the computer.

At this point, I want to laugh.  me: Did she happen to mention which one of our lazy, albeit highly evolved cats did this?

et: No.

me: Thanks for the call.  You’ll have your paper tomorrow.

At this point, I’m dying because I have to wait to nail Rachel.  And really, I was rather looking forward to it.  I pick her (and Ashley, who thinks she’s my other daughter) up from play practice.  Before she can even sit down, I ask which cat turned off the computer thereby preventing her from completing her assigned work.

Rachel (already looking guilty and biting her lip): Ummm, Sophie?

me: Hah! She weighs what?  Two pounds?  You should’ve gone with Harry.

Then I announced that she needed to take out a piece of paper and something to write with since she was no longer allowed to speak until she finished her paper.  She tried to argue with me, which she found particularly frustrating while writing.  Then we stopped at the local market to pick up some bread.

me: And remember…no speaking.  So, if you find the rosemary foccia bread, simply wave your hands in the air wildly until I see you.

It was a good night.  It was a quiet night.  It was the night I became a legend at her high school.  Believe it or not, the kids heard about the entire incident through Ashley and thought the punishment was brilliant.

I’m not sure it had the same pinache as the ‘you’re grounded until you’re married’ time, but that’s a whole different story.

Tags: child rearing, punishment
Posted in Parenting | 1 Comment »

Online Dating: Craigslist, Take One

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

I never thought I’d do it.  Really.  I can be pretty daring, but posting on Craigslist in an effort to not die alone reeked of desperacy, even for me.  At the same time, I had friends who assured me that it was all harmless fun.  Try it! Now, in all honesty, I’m not certain any of said friends actually went out in public with the guys that they met online.  That may be where I went a step too far.  You decide.

As with everything else in my life, I began by doing an inordinate amount of research before even sticking my toe in that dating pool.  I read through a lot of ads.  I wanted to see what people were saying, and wondering whether it would be a hopeless endeavor.  (I was still hung up on S and thought this might just be the distraction I needed to help me move on. )

So on S’s birthday, and shortly before leaving town to be with Jennie for the weekend, I posted this:

Suddenly Single, Ready to Date

This may sound strange, but I find myself in unfamiliar territory.  I have never dated, not in the conventional sense.  I went from high school boyfriends, to living in the college dorm dating the guy down the hall, to living with a friend I ended up marrying.  (Yup, I was married for fifteen years.) Now I’m single.  And I’m intrigued with the idea of meeting someone and dating.

Obviously, I’m comfortable with ltrs, but I want to start from the beginning, not skip any steps.  Let’s get to know each other, a few emails, a few phone calls, and take it from there.

I like the idea of getting to know each other over time, but here’s what you should know to determine whether you want to get to know me at all:

I have two kids, one of each, the girl is a freshman, the boy a fifth grader.  I own a home and am gainfully employed.  If there’s a man in my life, it’s going to be due to mutual desire and not need.  I’m educated, intelligent, and some would say witty, or maybe that’s a polite term for sarcastic?  I like to laugh A LOT.  For fun, I read, travel, and spend quality time with those I care about.  I cook and keep the place clean enough to be healthy.  I like being outdoors, but wouldn’t necessarily call myself outdoorsy.  I’m a nurturer.  I like taking care of people and recognize that sometimes placing someone else’s needs before my own is a strength, not a weakness.

That I’m not including a picture doesn’t mean I’m a troll, but that I’m not on my home computer.  Actually, I’ve been told I’m very attractive, but I think when you’re only five feet tall, the best you can hope for is ‘cute.’  My figure would best be described as hour glass.  And I think my best feature is my smile.

Think we have anything in common?

Well, I stopped counting at the number of men that thought we might have something in common.  And while many have complained about the quality of the responses they receive on Craigslist, I find that there’s a direct correlation between what you write and who responds.  I was inundated with emails from doctors, lawyers, businessmen, pharmacists, and professionals of all fields.  It was amazing.  It was fun.  It was an ego boost.  It was no good because all I wanted was S.

Still, like the trooper I was, I sorted through them, with Jennie’s expert help, and came up with a few candidates.  I found that if you have too many guys interested in one time, there isn’t enough time to give them the attention they desire, and some are simply going to fall off the grid.  No big deal.  This is online dating.  It’s a Darwinian experiment.  There’s always more fish in the sea, and all that rubbish.

So, since I tend to be a one man woman, I decided to try to focus on the one who wrote the longest most interesting emails.  Jeremiah.  After we exchanged a few, he was impatient, so we moved on to chatting.  He was clever.  He was devoted.  So we moved on to texting, which we did non-stop for two days.  And then it was on to phone calls.  (That all took place over the course of a matter of days, by the way.)

Somehow, it was during the phone conversations that I was convinced this would never work.  Where shall I begin?  First, he tried to impress me with the fact that he owned a beach house.  I love the beach.  All I wanted to know was whether or not there was any good sea debris.  He then announced that he wouldn’t know since he never went out on the beach.  (My first indication that he was a neat freak.  The second indication came a moment later.)  Then we started talking laundry.  He was in a store and couldn’t find fabric softener.  (I didn’t know anyone still used the stuff.)  He was apalled when I suggested he use laundry sheets with fabric softener in them.  This lead to a lengthy discourse on his methodology on laundry and my brief announcement that I would NEVER be doing his laundry.  If that wasn’t enough, I discovered that he had a two twleve pack a day habit of Diet Sun Drop.  I’m from the north, we don’t even have sun drop.  And if wehad, I still wouldn’t have drank it.  Give me high fructose corn syrup and carmel coloring any day.  I’m a cola girl.  And never a diet cola girl.

The final straw came the next day, however, when he was cranky because he hadn’t had time to iron his undershirt and it prevented him from tucking in his button down shirt properly.  Holy anal retention, Batman!  Who potty trained this guy with an AK-47?  Somehow, by then, though greatly disturbed, I was not overly surprised when he announced he collected German WWII memorabilia.  Who does that?  (And I’m referring to the German part, collecting pieces of history is something everyone does in one way shape or form.)

Yeah.  So, I told him that I wasn’t going to meet him for coffee, tea, or any other beverage of my choosing, and that I didn’t think we had much in common.  And when he asked why, I simply explained that he came off as being very high maintenance.

Though the taste for dating had already soured in my mouth, I pushed on and went out on an actual date.  This time, I decided not to spend much time getting to know him online, a few emails, one awkward phone call while we planned our meeting, then see if there was any chemistry.

There wasn’t.  My feelings had already cooled before I entered the restaurant, and not just because I had been standing outside in the rain while waiting for his late butt to arrive.  Grrr.  No, talking to him over dinner was like pulling teeth and far less satisfying.  Then we went to the theater for a movie.  (I don’t recommend this on a first date, by the way, not enough time to talk.  Although in our case, the movie helped with the uncomfortable silences.)  We saw what times were available and picked the next thing showing.

The movie might have been called Yes Man!, but I spent my night saying ‘no, sir!’  My date decided to get all handsy and couldn’t take a hint.  I was literally impaled on my armrest I was struggling so to stay away from him, yet he couldn’t take the hint, not even when I pushed his sweaty little palm off my knee.  Yuck!  He walked me toward my car.  Once we were near enough, I simply gave him the ‘thanks, nice meeting you’ bit and ran, yes, ran away.

At this point, I decided that I needed more me time to get over S.  And I put myself on a dating hiatus.

Anyone have a similar experience to share?

Tags: craigslist, dating, online
Posted in A Single Girl's Guide | 1 Comment »

Craigslist

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

With Craigslist gaining popularity and media attention these days, I had to weigh in.  See, I have a love/hate relationship with that fickle fiend.  It is one site where I have been reasonably successful, and also very nearly scammed.  With that in mind, let me share some personal experiences and some tips for safe usage.

Over the past year, I have become something of a Craigslist savant.  I can whip together a posting in about thirty seconds flat, depending on the cursed little confirmation code that I have to decipher.  I have used it to try and find a roommate, rent a house, sell a piano, sell some dishware, advertise a yard sale, get rid of a hot tub, and even date.  (Yes, I like to live dangerously.)  The dating bit is going to be an entirely separate post.

I had absolutely no success finding a roommate.  Tons of people responded, many of them con artists from over seas eagerly awaiting my response with my bank information (right…) and certain that we would be the best of friends.  (I passed.)  And then there was a single mom with four children who thought living with me and my two kids in a three bedroom house was going to be just perfect. (I almost bit on that one.  Luckily, the bubble held an intervention and knocked me back to my senses.)  And then there was the guy who wanted to be my roommate, share my car, and even carpool my kids.  No red flags there, right?  And when I turned him down, he decided he wanted to date me and stalked me periodically for the next few months.  That was fun.

Selling the household goods was relatively simple.  And between the fact that the posting is free and ridiculously easy to complete, I highly recommend Craigslist.  My most successful posting, other than the dating ones, was for the defunct hot tub.  (Yeah, I posted not once but twice.)

Here was my dilemma.  After I gave up on finding a roommate, which was an endeavor as fraught with peril as dating and not nearly as fun, I decided I’d have to rent out the entire house in order to avoid foreclosure.  So, in an effort to clean up the place and prepare to vacate the premises, the hot tub had to go.  And I think the ad says it all:

Free hot tub/lawn ornament.

My ex bought a broken down hot tub a year and a half ago for the low low price of $500.  It NEVER worked.  Since then it has remained a lawn ornament, something of a Zen piece as it has become one with the yard.

Perfect for those with some mechanical ability, since it can be repaired.  Comes with chemicals, steps, and a cover.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Trying to rent the house.  Need to lose the eyesore.

Please call to come haul it away.  All I want is my unobstructed view back.

See.  Simple, clever, and effective.  Within ten minutes of posting, I had seven calls.  And by the next evening, in a thunder and lightening storm unlike any other, I had that bad boy loaded on a trailer being taken to parts unknown.  And the big brown dirt spot is now covered with something akin to grass.  (Akin to grass, since I have yet to grow actual grass.  See Spring Lawn Care post.)

So, when posting…

• Don’t give out too much information.  I never include actual street addresses or pictures that could help someone find me, whether I’m renting the house or trying to date.  And whatever you do: NEVER EVER EVER give out banking information.  NEVER.
• Be wary.  I tend to be naive, so it was a real disappointment to have my friends assure me that there was no Tatiana from Poland who needed to stay with me for six months while here on a work visa and would pay for all living expenses for the six months up front…  Come on, it could happen!
• Go with your gut.  If it feels wrong, you’re probably right.  A man in New Mexico, or so he said, wanted to buy my piano.  He just needed my account information to make a direct deposit, then his movers would pick up and deliver the piano.  I needed the money.  Man, did I want the money.  He didn’t haggle… Still, I called my bank and asked if there was anyway that could go horribly wrong.  Put simply ‘yes.’  A few days later, a woman was on the news having been scammed on Craigslist while she tried to sell her wedding dress.  The scammer ‘accidentally’ sent her a cashier’s check for too much.  She sent him the difference.  The check was a forgery.  And she was out $1500.

Craigslist also has a nice warning list on the site.  Take time to read it.  The advice is sound.

And if there are other tips I should have shared about Craigslist, please let me know!

Tags: craigslist, guide, how to, scam
Posted in A Single Girl's Guide | 1 Comment »

Spring Lawn Care

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

I watched in fascination and awe, after my husband and I split up, as the men of The Bubble maintained their lawns.  It seems that my upbringing in the north where all I did from the age of twelve until I headed off to college was mow the lawn had left me ill-prepared for the chemical treating frenzy that I would be confronted with later in life.  At most, there would be the fall burn that would inevitably get out of control due to an unexpected wind and my mother would dread leaving my father unattended for fear the entire volunteer fire department would be at the house to greet her upon her return.  (Sadly, it wasn’t an unfounded fear.)

So, I can’t say whether it is a southern ’thing’ or something I never paid attention to until I became a homeowner, but there is a healthy competition among the men for the best lawn.  We do have two lawn guys in the neighborhood, which may contribute to the peer pressure.

My house sits on the corner, the former model home of the community, the hallmark of The Bubble, and I’m feeling the pressure to fall in line and tame the mess that’s supposed to be a lawn.  (I seem to maintain an ever changing mass of weeds broken up by the occasional blade of crab grass.)  I’ll admit that I do rather envy the thick green carpet that covers Ed’s yard.  And since I can’t yet afford to hire someone more quailitified and infinitely more motivated, the burden falls on me as man of the house to create a lawn others will pine after, that the kids and I can play in, lay in, and enjoy…as long as Snickers stops leaving piles that is.

Ed took pity on me, after he stopped laughing when I met him at the bus stop with a legal pad full of questions and a pen at 7:30am while we waited to send the kids to school.  Finally, he offered one of his flyers that explained his services.  It was intimidating to say the least.  So, I’m breaking it down to a seasonal approach that I can handle.

End of Winter/Early Spring

• Pre-Emergent. This should be spread over the entire lawn to prevent crab grass from growing.  (Apparently I gave Ed a blank look at this point.  So, he explained in girl terms.  Crab grass is that spiky grass that even after you mow the lawn, a few stragglers stick up all over like cowlicks causing immense frustration and preventing the nice clean cut look I’m trying to achieve.  Ah ha!)  It can be found at Home Depot for $42/bag.  One bag covers about 10,000 square feet.  It also helps prevent dandelions.
• Fertilizer. This one is self explanatory.  Take care to fertilize the bushes, too!
• Ant treatment. This is highly important for anyone who wants to use their yard or has pets.  (Take it from the woman who was nearly eaten alive by fire ants during a friendly game of horse shoes in S’s yard last summer.)  Ed swears by Ortho Max.  It comes in a big red bag and claims to kill ants, fleas, ticks, cut worms, and numerous other menaces.  He pours it into the spreader that he walks behind which distributes it evenly.  He also advises that if you have mounds, leave some in the bottom to scoop out for a thick application on them.

I’ll be publishing the next lawn care installment as the seasons change.  Look for Late Spring/ Early Summer at the beginning of May.  I’ll also update you on the status of my yard.  I don’t see me winning the lawn care ribbon this year, but at least I’ve thrown my lawn into the race.

Wish me well!

And if you live in Charlotte, NC or its surrounding areas and want to hire Ed, let me know!

Tags: guide, how to, lawn care
Posted in A Single Girl's Guide | No Comments »

My first growing pain…

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

The Grand Essentials of Happiness are:

something to do,

something to love,

and something to hope for.

–Allan K. Chalmers

November, 2008 was when I hit rock bottom.  I had faced adversity before, but somehow, everything going on messed with the way I was wired.  Normally, people marveled at my optimistic although often naive outlook on life.  Somehow, I was always able to find the silver lining, be positive.  I lost that for a while.  J had finally moved out.  It wasn’t that I was having second thoughts, but that I was facing the harsh financial reality of life on my own.

S suddenly began withdrawing at a time when he should have been holding me.  And finally, after I returned from visiting my family in the Adirondacks at Thanksgiving, he dropped a bombshell on me unexpectedly.  We had spent a mostly nice day together running errands, although I would have preferred to spend that mostly nice day together in bed, and then as so often happened, we were inundated with visitors at his house.  (Freakin’ pool room.)  Next thing you know I am falling asleep sitting up on the couch (I had been up since 2am to catch my flight at 6am.)  It’s ten at night and he lovingly walks me to his bed and tucks me in.  Two hours later, he awakens me by saying that if I don’t wake up and play pool with him, he’ll just go hang out at the bar with his friends.

I remember struggling out of bed, pulling it together.  We went out to the converted garage and played pool, since everyone else had left.  Spring called and asked how I was.  We talked and joked a few minutes then hung up.  Within an hour S had simply turned to me and told me that he didn’t ever see us getting married and that we should break up.  Another drunk 2am break up.  Crap.  Why could he never break up sober in the light of day?  So, mind reeling, I packed up and left.  It took several trips to the car, since so much of my stuff managed to end up in every room of his house.  And by the time I ended up at home, I was a shell of my former self.  (Since I only lived four doors down, it apparently didn’t take much.)

Within days I was sleeping A LOT.  I cried at the drop of a hat.  I stopped eating.  (And for anyone who knows me, this was the biggest red flag.  Nicki was passing on food?)  I was not myself.  Not even a little. (Although I was thinner…)  And then I broke down and saw the doctor.  He assured me it wasn’t a permanent issue, but something brought on by all the stress.  I grew to love my antidepressants.  Ahhh.  Those little magic pills made me happy and capable of facing my life.  And after two and a half months, I was ready to put them aside and feel what I was really feeling again.

Now I truly appreciate my feelings, owning them, knowing they are mine and not chemically induced.  Now I am back to planning: trips with friends, time with the kids, the relationship with S…

What I took from that time period was that there’s no shame in needing help, no shame in getting medicated.  For me that took more courage than I would have imagined.  I had to swallow my pride and admit that I can’t handle everything, that I’m not always completely together.  Lesson learned.

And now I know true happiness.  This blog is my new pet project, and S and I are living together, planning a future with my kids.

Life is a journey, not a destination.

Tags: depression
Posted in Reflections | No Comments »

Happily Forever After

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

February 20, 2009

Once upon a time there was a handsome prince with fiery red hair and a matching fiery disposition who had never truly known love.  In his heart, he believed he had experienced it, but each time it had fallen short of his expectations.  He had yet to find his soul mate.  This prince was fiercely independent.  Though he had many acquaintances, he had few true friends, and of those none that he felt comfortable sharing much of himself with.   Life had taught him that most people were unworthy of his trust, and time had dulled his desire to extend himself to those undeserving.
Autumn turned to winter then to spring as the young prince grew acclimated to his new kingdom.  And as the weather improved, he began to venture out and explore the neighboring kingdoms, meet the other royal families and peasants that resided nearby.  It was during such visits that he had met the local ambassador, Sir Edward of Mead.
All customary gatherings seemed to transpire on Mead lands where there was no fighting and spirits aplenty.  Evenings would find men relaxing and indulging in the spirits while the women chatted and watched over the children.  It was a peaceful yet sometimes empty existence for the prince.  Though he couldn’t put a finger on it, he knew something was missing.  More, he believed he would recognize this missing thing once confronted with it.  So, he pushed those concerns aside and carried on with his daily life.
One lovely spring evening, the prince strode over to Mead lands as had become his habit to consult with Sir Edward.  There was nothing about that evening to mark it as the monumental occasion it would become for on that night, he met a woman he hadn’t met before.  Lady Nicole was unlike any woman he had previously known.  She was warm and friendly, genuinely caring, intelligent, and easy on the eyes.  They spoke easily about everything and nothing as the sun set, the moon rose, and the stars took hold in the night sky.   And from that moment, Prince S was drawn to her like a moth to a flame.
The more time they spent together, the deeper her feelings grew.  In her, Prince S had someone he could trust with all his secrets, someone who would offer complete acceptance, and someone who would willingly render her whole heart.  As far as he could tell, she was practically perfect for him, but not quite.
Being a young prince, he believed that time was on his side.  He could afford to push away Lady Nicole and search for his one true mate.  Worthy as he was, he deserved to have his dream.  Saying his goodbyes to his neighbors and Lady Nicole in particular, Prince S set off to find the woman he desired.

He hadn’t traveled far when he stumbled upon a woman from his past.  As it is in all small kingdoms, word travels fast.  And the word on the street was that the prince was searching for the woman who would be his princess.  Candidates would be flocking to him in droves, crawling out of the woodwork like vermin.  The prince was unconcerned.  He welcomed the challenge and he was supremely confident in his ability to successfully complete his quest.

Prince S stopped without hesitation when this woman from his past asked for his assistance.  They had shared a special dance long ago and he still had a soft spot in his heart for her.  “Be with me,” she begged.  “Be with me and I will offer you this down comforter so you’ll never know cold again.”
The prince thought about her offer.  The comforter did seem warm and it could replace the blanket that he had shared with Lady Nicole, a blanket that reminded him of her soft skin, her warmth, and the passions they had experienced beneath it and on it.  Shaking his head to diminish the bittersweet memories, he took the comforter and tried to be with her.  It didn’t take long for Prince S to discover that this woman, though she had her charms, was not his soul mate.  Soon, the blanket was on his bed, but she wasn’t in it, nor would she be in his heart.
Determined to take his time in his quest, the prince remained in his kingdom.  His days were spent surveying his estate and his nights were spent entertaining his many friends and acquaintances.  One evening, a woman who had long desired him came forward seeking his attention.  “Be with me,” she begged.  “Be with me and you’ll never be unsatisfied again.”
Prince S pondered her offer for a moment.  He had known true satisfaction before.  Being satisfied by Lady Nicole had been one of the greatest pleasures of his life.  He recalled how one evening she had lain with him, snuggling close, and promised that she would do anything to make him happy in their bed.  And she had.  He wondered if he could experience that again.  He waited as the woman leaned in to affix her lips to his, but something kept him from completing the kiss.  While some might pass it off as a case of simple chronic halitosis, the prince knew there was more to it than that.
So once more the prince was forced to leave his kingdom and continue on his quest.  In his exit from the lands, he was forced to pass by the manor of Lady Nicole.  He saw her sitting outside, enjoying the sun, reading .  She seemed content, until her eyes met his and he was overwhelmed by the depth of the hurt in her gaze and the all too familiar pain began in his stomach.  Pushing that aside, he continued on his journey.
This time, his travels brought him in contact with the woman he had once believed to be his soul mate.  She was the one woman he struggled to let go, despite the fact that he ended their courtship.  The pain of that still afflicted him.  He expected that taking the opportunity to reconnect with her would bring him great joy.
The joy was short-lived, however, once they began spending time together.  Soon, the prince began to recall why he had ended the courtship last time.  And soon after that, he began doing something he had done so often as of late.  Prince S began to compare this woman to Lady Nicole.  Both had qualities he admired and found highly desirable.  He was feeling the weight of his quest taking hold.  How would he decide?
The prince knew that if he were searching for a knight to protect his realm, he would merely hold a tournament where the most skilled of swordsmen would compete for a position in his court.  There was no such comparable competition for those vying for a position as his princess.  He considered holding a ball where all the single women of his and neighboring kingdoms might come to dance and win his favor.  Even with his limited experiences he could foresee the flaws in such a plan.  Dancing was only a small part of life.
Armed with a list of all the eligible women he knew, the handsome prince assembled a panel of his closest advisors to assist him as he prepared to make the most important decision of his life.  One by one, he asked each of the men he trusted how they had selected their wives.  And as he expected, the answers were as varied as the men themselves.
“Laughter is so very important,” the first man shared.  “I knew that if she had a sense of humor and could make me laugh, we could weather anything that befell us.”   He smiled as he watched the prince’s reaction.
Studying the list, he was marking through those women he was certain were too serious for him to consider a permanent match.  Satisfied with his results, he moved on to the next man.
“Attraction,” his lusty friend said simply.  “I wanted a wife that the moment I saw her, I’d want to take her to bed.”  And he winked at the prince while nodding knowingly.
Smiling, the prince marked through several more names.  At one time or another he had been attracted to all these women, but for many he had felt the attraction fade over time.  Certainly attraction was important.
“I looked for compatibility,” one man said simply.  “I wanted someone that I could get along with, someone I would have a peaceful existence with.”
Prince S ran a hand through his goatee and nodded as he mulled over the response.  It was important that he be able to get along with his wife, but he wanted so much more than that.  Still, taking the advice into consideration, he began to modify the list.  Any woman he knew he had a tumultuous past with was quickly and efficiently marked off.
“For me,” said another, “it wasn’t so much about finding someone I could live with, it was about the one person I couldn’t live without.”
Again this answer made perfect sense to him.  He mulled over who he couldn’t live without.  Which of the many women in his life had gotten under his skin?  Whose absence was most acutely felt?   And this time the list was diminished significantly.  So many women on this list he hadn’t even given a passing thought for in years.
At last, Prince S stood before his most trusted friend.  “Sir Lonnie,” he began, “how did you choose?”  He looked nearly defeated.  If anything, he still had more questions than answers even though he had a more manageable list of candidates.
Sir Lonnie clapped a hand on the prince’s shoulder.  “Walk with me,” he said quietly.  They went out onto the terrace before he finally dropped his hand.

  “Clearly you understand the magnitude of your decision.  This woman you select will be the one to stand by your side in good times, see you through bad times.  This is the woman who will care for you, your children, and all your worldly possessions.  Your wife will be the last person you see each night, the one you wake up to in the morning.  And, naturally, there’s the time you spend together in between…” His voice trailed off and he smiled at his friend.
“Don’t forget, “Sir Lonnie added, “that she should not only be your best friend, but someone who will embrace your friends as well.  A castle can be a cold and dreary place, unless you have the right woman to make it a home.”  He watched the prince for a reaction.  “Has anyone come to mind?”
It could have so easily been a toss up, but as usual, Sir Lonnie had helped him make sense of his dilemma.  He strode over to his black stallion, mounted the beast, and rode off to claim his soul mate.  He had one quick stop to make first, however.  Throwing wide his castle door, he hastily made his way to the royal vault.  Years ago he had been entrusted with the family jewels and the one that would be gifted to his bride in particular.  Though he found it to be somewhat gaudy, he knew that if this woman he sought was truly his soul mate, she would recognize its significance and thereby treasure it.
Soon he was riding up the drive, wondering how to approach this woman.  In the past, he had unintentionally caused her great hurt.  He had underestimated her worth, sought to find the most miniscule of flaws to keep him from committing.  He had allowed inconsequential things to create a wedge between them.  Yet despite all of that, she was the one woman he couldn’t live without, the one woman who drove him to distraction.  She was the one woman he could imagine a future with.
As luck would have it, she was outside admiring a rainbow that seemed to disappear in the roof of her manor.  “And what brings you here?”  She asked with a wary smile.
The prince knew she was guarded.  He could feel it, as he had always felt all of her emotions.  “I was searching for treasure,” he said.
“Well, you won’t find any pot of gold under this rainbow,” she said and turned toward the manor.
“How do you know I haven’t already found my treasure?”  He asked as he walked closer to her.
She took a step back.  Being close to him was always a problem.  When he was close she couldn’t think straight, breathe as easily, keep from touching him.  He had always consumed her.  “All that’s here is me,” she said quietly.
“I underestimated your value once,” the prince admitted.  “Now I know what you’re worth.”  He took a step closer still.  “I know what you deserve, and I want to be the one to give it to you.  All of it.”  He took her face in his hands and kissed her passionately.  “Do you think you could love me again?”
“I’ll give you my whole heart,” she said earnestly.
“And you can forgive my stupidity?”  He asked with a smirk.
“I always do, “ she responded dryly.
He chuckled and dropped to one knee.  He saw her eyes widen.  “Did you think I was going to ask you something?”  He queried.  “I was just worried about straining your neck.”  He watched her shoulders slump and heard her disappointed sigh.  He stared at her and said seriously, “I’m a prince.  We don’t ask, we command.”  Her eyebrows rose sharply.

Pulling the ring from his pocket, he held it out to her.  “Marry me,” he said.
Tears formed in her eyes as he slid the ring on her finger.  “You’re wrong for that, mister,” she growled.  Then her tone grew more playful.  “Guess I’ll just have to make you pay.”
“For the rest of my life?”  He asked with a smile.

“Uh huh.”

And with that, he walked her to his stallion and they rode back to his castle to live happily forever after.

Tags: fairy tale, romance, short story, soul mate
Posted in Creative Writings | 2 Comments »